This Year’s Blank Slate

I always feel that birthdays are one’s personal new year.   Mine was last week, thank you very much.  Aside from being an acceptable reason to put off doing the taxes, I found this year’s brought a new focus and coherence to my small but active mind, and we can say for sure that it was Much Needed.

Even though our society stresses racing about, getting things “done”, doing more than one thing at a time…I think the deeper truth is that we all need time and silence to learn who we are.  That direction is not particularly supported in a system where most of one’s waking hours are devoted to making a “living” and all the things that go along with that, at every point in time.

The image that has stuck with me the past few days is this one.  It is possible to feel as though one is surrounded by darkness, and we fear the unknown.  We are afraid to drop down into what might be an abyss, or might be a bottomless ocean, or a desert full of rocks and spines, because why?  That unknown place is comprised of our fears and pain, and all the things we haven’t had time to deal with.   Or the things we really don’t want to deal with, “good” and “bad”, whether we understand them or not.  So we hold on tighter to what seems to be keeping us above the darkness, but it doesn’t make us feel any better.    

So one must listen.  That wide swinging arc we make over the unknown: We can listen while we swing through the space.  And if we listen, sooner or later we will hear.  And what we hear, finally, is a song.  A song of the water lapping at the edge of something, or a song of the wind flowing through trees and grass, a song of what IS and what flows through everything.  That IS is us, too.  We are not alone and separate from it.  And we can then let go, and drop down, and find ourselves in that place we used to fear so much but which we now find contains answers to questions both asked and unasked. Things we need to know to make our way through whatever our lives consist of, be it happiness, sadness, illness or health.   We can float in the waters or rest in the grasses, and learn.  The wounds and questions can change, as everything changes when spring comes.  We can see  the flower of ourselves reflected there and it turns out? That is enough to sustain a person in moving forward with their life.

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