Lost in Space

Well, Gentle Readers, we appear to have drifted apart in the vast silences of wherever we are.  Boo is doing arpeggio growls, preparing for a performance of “Breakfast: RIGHT NOW” and I…just finished looking at my bank statement.  Perhaps not the best way to begin another day but there it is.  

Through all the one step forwardses, seven sideways, backflipped, and through the woodses of late, this is what I’ve realized.  You have to do what you are doing for its own sake, basically.  Give it all your attention and awareness, then let it go.  This, I am finding, is not easy.  Rewarding, but not easy.  At times not even doable.  I often wonder how all the other kids are doing it, much as I did in school.  Of course later I found out they were having just as hard a time as I was, just a different kind of hard. 

So, aside from the fact that I’m allergic to everything on the planet I am happy it is spring right now.  I can go out to the garden and watch the seedlings coming up, the leaves unfurling on the trees, the roses blooming and broadcasting their scent and intensity through the air, mingling with all the citrus.  All my plants that go to sleep in the winter are awake again and it is like meeting old friends.  The sight of this year’s angelica and valerian and elderberry plants makes me feel that it really is all OK.  It reminds me that I am doing something I love to do and that is a Very Good Thing.  Over the weekend I made some hydrosol from the lemon balm that was growing crazily all over the backyard and it was wonderful to feel the plant in my hands, smell the aromatic steam coming out of my rigged up steamer/pot/home “still” and at the end have a few ounces of  lovely  green, vibrant water that contains all the calming and soothing elements of the lemon balm itself.  Alchemy.  So now, on to She Who Must Be Obeyed.


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