Oh, dear

I had too much fun last night and this morning was not pretty.  As The Partner remarked, you have to be in a certain place to party.  And I wasn’t.  It was fun, don’t get me wrong, but that Carpenter in the Head thing is a major drag.   Especially on trash day with That Special Garbage Man who has his radio blaring out at least 150 high falsetto decibels from the  truck, which already has the aggrieved sound of an enraged elephant on the lifting parts and the morose yowl of misery of an unhappy cat in the brakes.   Before 8 am.  I felt like I was bleeding out of my eyes anyway so my glare in his direction seemed more effective than usual.  Maybe it was the orange nightgown and plaid shirt combo.  He turned it down.  I retreated back to the garden to do Jin Shin Jyutsu on myself, which did help.  Energy therapies are really wonderful in those moments when you realize you just got yourself out of whack.  They not only help the body recover from the insult it has just endured, and bring the mind and spirit back to balance, they help ground you so that you learn more about the whole process.  Thus not to repeat it.

However, during all this pre-dawn discomfort, what was I thinking about?  Justice.  I am a nut, Gentle Reader, and I admit it freely and of my own will.

Too much anxiety and worry over many days, sitting outside in the evening of a lovely day in the garden with a good friend.  The answering machine blinking with urgent requests for assistance but nobody with any money.  We shared a bottle of wine, had some crackers and talked while dusk gathered, and it probably wouldn’t have been such a physical debacle for me if a) I’d had anything to eat during the day and b) I felt equal to the many tasks before me.  That creeping sense of having something Very Big and Heavy Trailing Me sometimes makes gains when I’m not looking.

But, oh well.  I was thinking about how law, really, is supposed to protect us and provide support for the social contract so we can all have justice in our various dealings.  Which then could create an environment of peace.  Right?  But.  Justice, like everything else, has to be paid for, and if you don’t have the money you don’t get the justice.  If you have the money you can get the result you want oftentimes, which is also not always justice.  I started thinking, again, about prisons and how many people there are incarcerated in this country.  How expensive that is, and how proper education and health care would probably cost less than the slammer and have a more productive result.  Of course there are those who transgress and cannot live in society with everyone else.   But there are those who make money running prisons and it seems to this befuddled individual that we have, once again, profit trumping what is actually needed.  The whole idea that so very many people are completely expendable, have no worth.  The whole idea that the guy with the most money and the best attorney wins.  No matter what.  It makes me terribly sad.  And about as angry as anything makes me.   I really don’t understand it at all.  Which leads to the Heavy Thing Gaining On Me when I forget to focus on my work and what I’m doing and not on the hugeness of what is to be done.  And then, as if by magic:  Out of whack.

Meanwhile, the headache has moved on and we are pulling ourself together, yes we are, to tackle it all once again.  Keep the faith and do the work and try to do the right thing as often as possible.  And eat lunch.  That’s important. I decided not to try and figure out the article in the paper that said there was a steady supply of oil and the economy is obviously improving and therefore gas will be more expensive.  There’s more, things are better, and………um.    I think it may be time for a trashy novel.

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