Since I’m Here, Anyway

Certain things have happened of late here at Rancho Boozilla, which have caused a Planning Reorganization.  The Girls seem fine with it, but why not?  As long as the seeds, kibble, peanuts, cheerios and fruit keep coming, it’s all good.  And screechy.

Meanwhile, *I* have had to wrestle with some Big Concepts.  Such as, what if everything they told you WAS wrong?  What if getting spit out of The System, painful as it is, is really OK since one doesn’t respect it anyway?  As girls, my generation anyway was taught that obedience and being good, those were what you did.  Obey.  Be quiet.  This may be a horrible shock, Gentle Readers, but I am not obedient.  I am polite, reasonable, think things through.  But obey, just because, I do not.  NOT EVEN.  So it’s been a tough row to hoe, so to speak.   And now, now here we are in this….words fail me…society, where money is the yardstick of what is good and what is not.  If you have money, you’re good.  If you don’t, you’re bad.  I suppose the badness extends also to being sick and many other things over which, basically, you may have no control.  Like what color your skin is or if your family owns a big part of Eli Lilly or the Gap, or lives on the Rez or the Ninth Ward,  or whatever it might be.  So we’re back to the Middle Ages and that whole absurd concept of Merit which apparently has been translated to the 21st century, completely intact.  But it can make you a bit nuts if, let’s say, you grew up being told that being “good” and “working hard” were going to be a workable life strategy and allow you to get somewhere (where? we weren’t allowed to ask.  I wonder why).  And it just doesn’t.  Being RICH gets you somewhere.  And having that be your goal and measurement for success is like saying if you aren’t a star basketball player you are a total failure as a human being.  There’s only so much room at the top when you have a vertical system.  Also? A long way to the bottom, where coincidentally, since it is then set on a horizontal plane, at long last, there is a great deal more room.

I’m just flummoxed.  I see people running around, shopping and tra la la-ing like nothing is happening.  But the unemployment rate in California that they acknowledge is over twelve percent.  And that’s not counting the people who lost jobs two years ago and are still looking.  In Detroit? It’s 28%.   In Fresno? It’s 40%.  That adds up to an awful lot of coffee in Brazil.  That adds up to a lot of people with no work, no money, thus no food or housing ultimately.  No unemployment.  No allowance for restructuring of debt.  No future.  Not much of a present.  Also, probably they’re just Bad People, right?  Bad people who, if they’re “lucky” are working two jobs every day just to keep a roof over their head.  Heads that are probably close to exploding, because the employers in their magnanimousness, having laid off lots of other people, have the individuals who still work for them do the work of two people for no extra pay.  But the bottom line is still pretty much the same at the top.  I always did think the Republican concept of the monetary “trickle down theory” was pretty brilliant.   You know, profits at the top eventually “trickle down” to the bottom.  They were in fact telling the truth.  It’s just the substance they discussed as trickling down wasn’t properly described.

We made an appointment with a specialist, a doctor, in desperation, the Partner and I, during last month’s trial by fire.  When I made the appointment I clearly stated we had no insurance.  Not hard, since that’s the first thing they ask you.  Not, what’s the problem? No. How will you pay.  So, OK, I told them, reiterated it when we got to the travesty   appointment.  We leave, I’m barely keeping myself from yelling, we pay.  The woman at the front desk said, gosh, that’s mighty white very generous of the doctor to only charge you $X.   I gritted my teeth.  (There was also a hangover and mild food poisoning involved so perhaps my energy was low.)  Anyway, we go, we pay and again I say is this all? we don’t have insurance, we leave.  Also, they wouldn’t take cash, which is fascinating to me.  So I used my last check.  And yesterday? We get a bill for the remainder of his fee.  Since they found they couldn’t bill a non-existent insurance company? OR WHAT?  If we hadn’t been out of matches I would have set that effing bill on fire.  

Also, I saw that one of my favorite writers, Sherman Alexie, is speaking here tonight.  Wow, I thought, yesyesyes, let’s go.  Then, I saw how much it cost to get in.  $25-30 for two people.  No mention of the admission costs going to charity or anything.  Alexie is Native American.  I just wondered how many local Skins at this point could cough up that much cash just to go hear him read.  Obviously there’s something really big I’m missing here.  Besides the cash, I mean.  In today’s life, $25 or $30 is alot of money to plunk down for something as abstract as hearing someone read a book.  Even if I had it, I’m not sure I’d spend it that way.  Even though Alexie IS one of my very most favorite writers.  Maybe it’s just the people with expendable funds who need to hear what he has to say?  The people he writes about have already heard it.

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