Hitchhiker’s Guide to Wormholes

There’s a part in the movie, “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” where  mention of a little towel propels someone through a freak wormhole.  I am now generally wearing a little, wet, towel around my neck because it’s so hot and it occurred to me that indeed, my perception that I’ve gone through a freak wormhole is probably correct.  Just like in the movie.

This morning we once again arose to Ant Armageddon.  Yes, we are in the country in a yurt.  But still.  The building instructions for the yurt were laughable.  Not funny, but laughable.  The skirting to which everything gets attached? Those instructions were left to the very end of the booklet.  When it should have been the first thing after building the platform.  Since the lattice has to attach to it and that holds the cable that holds up the fabric structure.  So, OK, fine.  Then, no mention made of caulking.  At all.  And,  of course once things are bolted down caulking is largely impossible.  See where this is going, Gentle Reader?  And, you would think, maybe, that being out in a rural area, people in hardware and feed stores would be able to offer suggestions and solutions for the various problems that I am sure everyone encounters out here.  But, if you thought that you would think wrong, buster.  These solutions are as jealously guarded as jazz riffs.  Sometimes it even seems funny.  We are on a 20 acre property and the guy at the feed store sells us a BAG OF ANT POISON, to be used outdoors.  What, exactly, can that do in this large an area.  But there we were, exhausted, and hey.  It seemed like a good idea at the time.  Of course it accomplished bupkiss and I am telling myself I learned something.  The next episode has involved diatomaceous earth.

We are now the proud possessors of what is probably a lifetime supply of diatomaceous earth, which it says right on the label is used for bug control: Fleas, roaches, ANTS.  Sprinkle it around, it cuts the exoskeleton and the creature expires.  Which seems awful.  I don’t like killing things.  But in this case I am forced to do just that.  So, anyway.  D.E. purchased, sprinkled…one night passed and things seemed OK.  But clearly, that is just like using poison outside.  This is a huge area and there are probably more ants here than there are stars in the sky.   You’d have to do aerial spraying of that stuff to have it work and then you’d kill  ALL the bugs and then…..clearly, not an even remotely acceptable solution.   So, NOW WHAT?

We are both feeling a bit like Something Is Happening and We Don’t Know What It Is.  How did we get here?  What the hell is going on? Sort of thing.   However our next plan of attack will be to go under the yurt, caulk with construction glue, fill the moats in the pier blocks with D.E., and resort to RAID on the interior perimeter.  Plus D.E. outside just because.   It is a question of getting the place off limits to ants, period.  Because they are attacking us just because we are HERE.  It’s what ants do.  They aren’t getting into our (sealed) containers of rice and beans.  They are just doing what they do: Advancing over all territory, scavenging.  After all, they do process everything sooner or later, the ants and worms and flies.  This is just basic reality, in other words.  To deal with this reality means setting up, in essence, a medieval fortress.  Moat (D.E.), bridge up (glue), armed warriors (RAID).

And then there is the philosophical question, unavoidably.  Whatever we do as humans, here in the 21st century, is almost certainly going against Nature to a greater or lesser extent.   We’ve irrevocably changed the climate and even the most moronic among us must be getting a faint glimmer of THAT.  We are so far out of harmony and cooperation with nature it ain’t funny.  What does that point to overall for our endeavors as humans?  We didn’t use the outside poison for the ants except on a direct anthill entrance.  There are so many lizards and frogs (one still unknown as to location from yesterday) and other bugs, praying mantis, birds and squirrels: We can’t interfere with them, and for the most part we’ve come to an understanding with everyone except the ants and the flies.  And the mosquitoes but that is another post.  Do we look at this as an allegory?  We can’t move them aside and I’m pretty sure we can’t conquer them, THEM ultimately being nature.  I guess the question is can we get around it, the roadblock of the ants and flies, and coexist on the other side in relative peace?  Can we get around basic impulse and the stupidity that so often rises in response.  That is today’s question.

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