Contradictions

I was talking to a friend in New York this morning. Which, in itself is kind of amazing: I’ve gotten to the point where it seems as though we are in some totally different planetary system from any place we were before and communication is like starlight- traveling over immeasurable time and space.   Any conversation about this place is, of course, dominated by the weather, and people are starting to notice that it is, in a word, impossible.  My friend today used the word contradictory.  Which is true.  It can be storming on the east side and have a brilliant blue sky on the west.   It’s windy as all get out, then cloudy at night so you can’t see the stars.    It’s also kind of weird that Mt. Shasta, which is not exactly a tiny thing, is seen pretty much when it feels like it.   Some days it is as though it doesn’t even exist, and I feel a kind of hole in myself somehow where it “should” be visible.

So I thought about contradictions, what that means,  and it is very true.  Our lives here are really about balancing all the impossible things we have to believe before breakfast with what comes out the chute at lunch.  It’s fascinating, and mind stretching as well as constraining.  There is a huge feeling of unreality that comes and goes as it pleases.  I’m thinking there is an aspect of having a huge part of life taken up by actual physical labor, needed to keep you alive, that puts you in a different sort of contact with..er…”reality”.  I guess if I’d lived in the country forever and moved the reverse way it would still be true: Just in reverse.

Meanwhile we are commencing to insulate.  Swearing has begun.  The Partner, being a painstaking, craftsmanlike perfectionist, is struggling against the wind today to cut the materials into proper size.  The sun’s out, and since we need to put the insulation in before we  put the shade cloth up, there’s no shade.  I believe I’ve mentioned before the deleterious effect heat has on the P.    So in a way it’s another contradiction, as well.  Doing something you like, in a place you like and don’t like.  And! another full moon.  In any event it’s 80 degrees in here so all these projects are ever more pressing.

Meanwhile, there has been horse fury next door.  FURY.  There are three horses, two of whom are trained.  One trained horse is a female who shares space with the untrained horse (male).  They are bestest friends.  So when the female and the other male (trained) were taken out, brushed, and ridden,  Mr. Untrained was beside himself.  He was ignored, dissed you could even say.  He whinnied his disapproval.  He stomped around.  He shook his head and paced:  He looked like a man about to get into a fight.  He hasn’t really gotten over it and it’s been almost a week.  Miss Horse is sad because he’s shunning her a bit, and after all it wasn’t really her fault.  She’s confused.  HE stands in almost a theatrical  position at right angles to her, gazing across the horse area, his jaw clearly set and his eyes narrowed and glinting.  He gave their Human a look, when she brought the two horses back from the aforementioned ride, as if to say: OVERMYCOLDDEADBODYWILLYOUEVERDOANYTHINGWITHME.  RIDE? DREAM ON.   Once again this reminded me how silly humans are when they think animals don’t feel, or think- when they think that they as humans are “above” animals.  We all feel the same things, as it turns out.  Kind of a big responsibility when you look at it like that.  Also, though, simpler.  Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you turns out to be a pretty workable philosophy after all.  Although I recently saw a bumper sticker I liked: If you can’t say anything nice I’ll have to get the duct tape.  Another contradiction.

In other animal news, yesterday we saw a brand new horse! Holy cow!  Adorable.  I’d never seen one so little before and it is in a pasture next to the baby goats who have now graduated to imitating everything the adults around them do.  We saw them all doing a somewhat yogic posture with rumps up and fronts down with front legs extended out and down to the grass, for example.  The new horse, meanwhile,  is practicing eating grass and navigating around, excitedly kicking up a bit of dust, and looking pretty much dazzled by it all.  A bit further up the road there is a continuing parade of calves.  Some are big enough to be practicing running up and down the small rolling hills; others are so small they are just dark dots in the grass waiting for Mom to come back.  The new donkeys remain adorable, and haven’t morphed into Large Donkeys yet.  Still shy, still velvety and gorgeous.  We also had a face to face chat with the cows across the road whom we have only, until now, heard mooing.  They are a very civilized group indeed, with a shaggy donkey guardian.  The guardian looked at us a bit askance but then gave permission for the cows to come over to us and a delightful time was had by all.  The wild flowers are blooming, some later this year than last, and some I don’t remember seeing before.   So, as usual: One day at a time.  Or increment thereof.

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