Whirled Peas & Armed Bears, Pt. 1

Let’s just say, Gentle Reader, that I now have a repetitive stress injury in my elbow from holding the phone for so long, lo these many days, to get my SEO/BS/whatever it is, up and running.  Silly me, thinking that since I am paying these people for a service, I would actually receive same.  Looking at one of their carefully crafted info things about my business, they used the phrase, “triple threat”.  Somehow it doesn’t ring true for me, seriously.  We deal with flowers and healing and harmony, really we do.  Threat is just….not.  So it took two days and close to two hours to get that fixed.  Then, supposedly my testimonials were to be included on this same page.  Fine.  Yesterday’s blockbuster conversation ended with a “message being sent” to “that group” to add those testimonials.  Today’s armed struggle ended with me talking to someone in “that group” and her having the usual aggrieved attitude about correcting their grammatical and content errors, and her also telling me that they’d have to get some sort of special authorization to get those testimonials off my website even though it’s hosted by them…..and this would take two weeks and I started to hear opera in my head, which meant it was time to hang up.  We’d reached the death scene, apparently.  I’m giving them one more chance Monday.  Seriously.  ONE MORE AND THAT’S IT.

In other local news, someone up here apparently got some bad news late last night.  We were out moon gazing, which was spectacular, when suddenly the night was pierced with the sounds of a human roaring.  This went on for several minutes (the dogs in the neighborhood? thought it was a sing along) and then the person started rhythmically bellowing GOD…..DAMN….IT.  Over and over.  Very loudly and sonorously.  Since I can really at this point relate to this on a few different levels and foci, and since there was no gunfire, we thought, Oh, WTF, right?  Just another night in paradise.

Of course there’s lots more, but it is all so disheartening (the Christian Evangelical group Rick Perry is “one of”, for example, believes that the Statue of Liberty is…being influenced I guess they’d say, by devil spirits.  The Statue of Liberty.  Devil.  EVIL SPIRITS THEREIN.  This is important stuff.  I guess they also believe the Devil- who is apparently busier than we ever imagined, here I thought he was just inhabiting corporate heads and maybe people like Pol Pot’s bodies- went around planting fossils and dinosaur bones to fool people into thinking evolution was real.  Again, important stuff.) it’s hard to know how to approach it.  One of the best bumper stickers I ever saw was “visualize whirled peas” so today I stuck with that, which was plenty hard enough.  (The other best is Protect your right to arm bears.  Which we completely support here, of course.)  I’m also totally blown away by all the reversals the Obama Administration has pulled and how much it looks like Bush-era policy, environmentally, socially, and regarding the “War On Drugs”.  Too bad they aren’t aiming at Pfizer and Merck in this war.  Oh, and also, in other super important things that we need to be attending to right now, the House passed a bill that basically makes abortion illegal.  For crying out loud.  Is there a brain in the House?  Anybody there able to read their watch?  PULSE? And of course, there’s MONSANTO.  But more on them another time.  I bet you can’t wait, either.

But it is a beautiful evening and all our ornamental sages are, at last, blooming.  The hummingbirds zoom around and play all day and, since you can’t step in the same river twice, no reason for too much worry.   So, on to a better world with whirled peas and armed bears!

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