Be Dauntless and Patient

While assuming the position, is what it feels like.  I know it isn’t posteveryotherday2011, but somehow while the words are in the brain, the time required to hurtle them into cyberspace isn’t always available.  Note to self: NEVER SAY OUT LOUD THAT YOU’RE TRYING TO SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE.  Because why? Because what you say when you say that seemingly translates in every milieu to Stop That Person! Obstacles Front and Center!  TRIP HAZARDS AHOY!!!!

Anyway, yesterday was full of the usual suspects: Renegade animals, difficult conversations, too much to do and we STILL haven’t made it to the dump yet, AND the ever present Another Effing Opportunity For Growth (AFOG for short if you’re interested).   Perhaps something was gleaned from all that, however.  Responsibility, for example.  When you over extend, over expand, over use things, eventually big portions of all of that break loose and spill out on to the rest of the environment.  Think  bad habits, too many animals, too many possessions, not paying attention while driving, et cetera.  It’s like the unrestrained cellular growth that results in what we call cancer in the body.  So your bad habits, we might say, ultimately become someone else’s problem.  This is something we could, you might think to yourself, avoid.   But that would mean, Gentle Reader, that we become far more mindful far more often.  I’m working on it, really.  And I try to find it instructive and amusing when old patterns come up for review and whaddaya know! They’re just as screwed up now as they were when I was 18.  I’ve changed more than some of the terrain around me, it seems, and I find it both encouraging and terrifying that every day provides ample opportunity to express that change.  Of course it isn’t always welcome and then unsatisfying results therefrom find me out on the driveway fighting back tears and kicking stones.  Just like a kid. The thing about that is that one has retained that feeling of powerlessness and inability to convey one’s meaning, and that in itself is interesting.  Those old feelings of fear and lack of potency are still there which is astonishing.  After all, not only are we not in Kansas, nor were we ever, but we are no longer a (complete) child.  Which goes back to assuming responsibility, with awareness and compassion.

Still.  It’s all about one’s attitude, and part of that attitude has to include the awareness that things are going to be very gnarly sometimes.  You may have to do things that go against what you would like, simply because the situation is before you, largely constructed by other energies (let’s just call it that, OK?) and, in having to move forward, you kind of have to follow what I once read as The Magician’s Way- when you encounter an obstacle, you either go around it, achieve balance with it and go on, or failing that conquer it.  Or words to that effect.   Ah, memory.   Sometimes, though, we really do have to stand up and do whatever thing is required, tell the truth, swat the fly, leave, come back, cauterize the wound, whatever it is that’s Hanging Around.  I guess what’s making it so intense this go round is that this is precisely what’s going on everywhere in the world.  Makes it kind of all encompassing- but does that make it easier? Some days yes, when you can see the big picture and retain the awareness that this is laying a foundation, one brick at a time.  Other days, like yesterday? Not one bit.  But this is where we get to Begin Again.   And must, it seems, do so post haste as the internet signal is wiggling up in the corner of my screen like….like a big can of worms.  See you later!

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