Whirled Bears

That is pretty much IT in a nutshell, Gentle Reader.  I’ve finally realized, as of today, that I simply cannot maintain organization as a continuing state.  It is as though someone, somehow, goes through everything when I’m occupied elsewhere and renders it largely chaotic.  Probably the same someone who twists every cord on everything I use into something beyond recognition.  It just happens.  I find mail (important of course) I haven’t opened, the refrigerator is verging on needing FEMA attention, and I finally made a list today, just to be able to cross something off it and feel as though…Something Got Done.  Next week I’ll have to face The Laundry Again and that means biting the bullet and finding a dryer.  Somewhere.  Taken separately none of these things are the stuff deal breakers are made of.   But when you add a few real life dilemmas, quandaries, quagmires and pains in the butt it really just makes a person want to go back to bed.  Instead of attempting to reduce the stack of things being worked on sitting on the one and only table, or doing something about the freezer besides crossing myself every time I pass it.

Part of it is just exhaustion, of course.  It’s been a strenuous life and the past two years have been beyond anything that happened before. Which is saying something.  So.  We’re tired.  Then there are all the projects and things that must be done to keep body and soul together in all the ways that needs to be done.  Sometimes it seems as though everything is moving so fast and there’s so little one can do about it that anything beyond staying in the flow is superfluous, if not downright impossible.  Keeping one’s perspective is a full time job when you’re skating on the edge, as it turns out we all are at this point in time.  The Partner is convinced that we got stuck on one of the strings that may or may not constitute the universe, one where things are like what we know here, but not quite.  Thank God for physics, really.  It can bring you right back around when those woozy fits hit.   Like today, when I’m, in theory, Working and Doing Things and I Know What I’m Talking About.

Anyway last night as I was in the garden cutting some herbs for dinner, Tyrant the Hummingbird appeared out of nowhere, as he is wont to do.  He looked at me from beside the feeder  for some time, then apparently deciding that I needed to be actually told what to do about that feeder (fill it up! HUNGRY HUMMINGBIRD ON SITE) he buzzed over to where I was standing, and in a series of loudly sound tracked pirouettes and tail moving semi mid air standstills came to within six inches of my face.  We looked into each other’s eyes and it was astounding.  As usual.  The color! The feathers! The EYES!  They have coloration around them that is probably to make them look fierce, and having one hover right in front of your nose is just the tiniest bit unnerving.  They have a rather commanding presence.  But he was just showing off and playing of course and I humbly went and filled the feeder, thinking all the while how amazing it is that a hummingbird is more or less telling me what to do. Of course sometimes I feel like SOMEBODY better tell me what to do, but still.   That he can make the connection and act on it is food for thought indeed.  Not that I’m surprised or anything but I did have a moment of thinking, listen here you birds!!!! I am not the avian slave girl!!! You don’t get to boss me around.  And, well, ha ha to that of course.  I came in with the empty feeder and the parrots reminded me that it was time for their crackers and coming out, dinner and dancing as per usual, and why didn’t I just hurry up.  In the end everyone got their needs met, even us.  Balance restored for the moment.  Dancing always helps.



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