Viral Smackdown

I suppose it was inevitable, but at long last I got some respiratory bug and the body feels like it was stuffed with hot jello with all outer surfaces having been tuned up with a baseball bat.

SO.  The dismal news didn’t help:  Obama? Where are you?  Not vetoing the indefinite detention bill, and apparently reversing course on the pipeline debacle.  Also I learned this:  There are actual RULES and stuff about what may constitute a terrorist.  For example.  Missing a finger? Uh oh.  Have guns? WOO HOO.  If you have waterproof ammo, fugeddaboudit.  X marks the spot, all you duck hunters.  Also, if you have more than seven days worth of food on hand, well, you, Gentle Reader, MIGHT be a terrorist.  Also if you’re unemployed there may be mandatory drug testing for you, buster.  I wonder who pays for that?

Anyway.  It distracted me from my Larger Topic, which essentially involves the necessity for taking a higher, broader view of things, dropping resistance and having forgiveness in one’s heart while working toward clarity, which comes more easily when you get your ego out of the way.  AHEM.  Anyway, we were watching THE BIG C, which is wonderful, and that made me think about all of that.  The plot involves a woman with Stage Four Melanoma.  One of the things she does is have an affair, which when you think about it, isn’t all that surprising.  Not much time left, one wants to savor all the things life has to offer, really.  But it reminded me of a good friend I had, who also had Stage Four Melanoma.  She also had an affair, and it happened to be with my husband.  They’re both dead now, and although it still has the feel of an old injury that acts up in cold weather, I have to say I am glad that I could look at it with a bit of perspective at the time, and realize that they were both more important to me than my deeply hurt feelings, and with some understanding of their unthinking (among other things) motivations.  So now I don’t have to be angry in addition to feeling the sorrow of their absence.  I don’t condone the behavior, and didn’t then- OH BOY.  I set so much of his stuff on fire it was incredible. (But I felt better for it!, yes I did.)  I also made some Christmas dinners for her and her family when she was too ill to do it herself.

Still, approaching the depth of winter and the change of year, confronting what appear to be insoluble and hopeless problems here on earth, it’s worth considering that probably the only thing that will save us is precisely this dropping of habitual response and the coming forward in love and peace, working with each other to raise, as we used to say, the level on every level.  Looking at what really needs to be done and marshalling the required things to get it accomplished.   It’s terrifying of course; but it is way too late for us all to give in to paralysis, tempting though it is.  I have a fever, however, so I may be excused just this once, for this evening.  I’ll play nicely, really.

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