Queasy Thought Form Alert

Whether it’s the coronal mass ejections of late, or the growing pressure of the black hole at the center of our galaxy with which we are famously moving into alignment- whatever it is, Gentle Reader, it IS.  I’ve soldiered on today and have perhaps accomplished some small things. Like maybe finding the right size laser printer friendly labels online.  MAYBE.  But this is once again apparently in Direct Opposition To The Will of The Universe.  Take my internet!!! When I can get onto it today at all, there are not just the constant cursor creeps but now, most festively, a notice that pops up and drives all else from the screen, saying that the bill hasn’t been paid.  This is very special, of course, for a variety of reasons.  We share (I can’t think of another word but that isn’t quite right, really.  We have a sliver of bandwidth if we time it right, let’s put it that way-) satellite service with our landlords.  I pay them for this fabulous service every month with the rent, which they require in cash.  My bank is a 60 mile round trip away and the local ATMs either charge a body part or have insane limits on getting cash out if you aren’t One of Them.  So, given that I go through all that, when I do my part? and then I can’t get any internet because they haven’t? It makes me just the tiniest bit ballistic.  Tiniest bit.

Then, for extra fun, I had ordered a text book on line.  The amount was duly, and immediately, removed from my account.  A few days passed and I got an acknowledgment that the book was on its’ way.  Then? Two notices saying that the book couldn’t be sent because it was damaged.  And, the purchase amount was credited back to me.  Pondering whether I really needed this book or not, I happened to check and see if the credit had been processed as promised and GUESS WHAT? I bet you can’t.  Really?  Well, instead of crediting me for the book that wasn’t sent, I got a second debit for the same amount.  So now essentially I’ve paid twice for a book I cannot get even once.   Of course their customer service is closed so Monday will be fun.

Meanwhile.  I’ve been pondering just exactly how irritating excessive and constant cheery bonhomousness can be since it feels as though I am turning into T Rex at times.  A few conversations transpired lately where I’d say something like, my neighbor’s horse died, and the other person would say, well everything’s GREAT for ME!  I find this confusing every time.  It reminded me of a job I had once at a Trauma Center in a Children’s Hospital in a metropolitan area.  This was where abused children and their families came for counseling post-injury.  It was kind of a stressful place to work.  One staff meeting, everyone was discussing this and that, what needed to be done, etc., and also the fact that the previous weekend had been monstrous, with two DOA kids.  The director of the program, when it was her turn, said, well, we all create our own realities.  And what I have created for MY reality is a week in Hawaii -next week!.  I leave you to mull over the complete jaw dropped silence that ensued.   But I’ve come to realize that this is a not uncommon mode of discourse.  People want to say that they live in the now, and they create their reality- and usually of course this is in stark contrast to YOUR reality in which you are not going to Hawaii, for example.  By implication you have created a booger reality for yourself.

The thing about this is, it is indeed true that the now, the present moment, is the only place you can actually be.  But?  You are not in that moment alone.  Every being and entity on this planet and who knows how far out into the distance is in it at the same time, however that time may be defined.  There is a movement of energy throughout this Now and no person can really control that.  It is never really all about you.  The past and future are tangible things although from our vantage point in time they aren’t concretely real.  They are things that can be symbolized for us by, say, a picture from a time past or a ticket for something in the future.  The present is real in its own way- funded by the past and participating in the future, with all the energies of everything that is in the present.  When you think about the level of indoctrination we’re all exposed to one way or the other, it seems to me that there is a huge amount of getting people to look at surface, not substance, in terms of actual reality and real life.  There’s a lot of telling you how you “have” to be and what you “have” to do.  There’s less emphasis on teaching people how to think, and to be kind to each other.  Even less emphasis is placed on just what it takes for all of us to live harmoniously- which on some level has to do with everyone participating in creating a reality that all can live with and function in.  Ultimately, however,  these thoughts and instructions take form, have a life of their own- as what are sometimes called thought forms.  The illusions we believe in now (American Dream?  a woman’s ideal weight? testosterone gel!)  consist of these thought forms which are maintained by, in theory, the energy of the entire group here.  Energy can have an impact on these thought forms, which is a basic premise of a fair amount of alternative healing thought.  You can change the way you think and perceive things, after all.  Anyway, when the energy is under pressure, is negative because the illusion is tattering in spots (Greece.  Detroit. Sudan. Syria. Rick Santorum?) it does seem as though those who are invested in it heavily become ever more assertive in their efforts to continue belief in it.  People who absent themselves from the entire paradigm are often not totally healthy- they may be schizoid or psychopathic.  Or they may be artists and writers. But they do not take  the usual path, in any event.

In any event.  I’m thinking about a new approach.  Thoughts ARE things, thought forms are real (however you wish to describe them) and as it happens there are a bunch of them I am not interested in encountering any more.  The thought that I might be able to disengage from stuff that is counter, according to my gut,  to my well being is rather new, and it also connects to the concept that one doesn’t have to have an opinion about everything, either.  It’s really quite restful not to have to pepper everything into submission with questions and definitions- preferably without any listening taking place.  But somehow, what to do when things don’t ring true? Is an ongoing investigation.  Letting go is not the same as letting oneself be run over; things that are not right, are not right.  By this I mean things that contribute to ignorance, social stratification, lack of understanding and also lack of basic truth.  So.  When, in the course of things, one encounters many of these sorts of things that aren’t right- it can be a balancing act.  One can’t withdraw completely- it’s unproductive over the long haul.  But it is perhaps about setting limits.  That is today’s daunting task.

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