This is how we wake up

In the mornings, I mean, Gentle Reader.  Today I opened my eyes to a vision of Albert Einstein talking about energy.  E= , etc.  That discovery of his really turned things over and people probably didn’t even really realize it.  Maybe they still don’t.  But energy can be neither created (I can vouch for that) nor destroyed (not so sure sometimes), and it involves a complex dance of matter and light speed…A truth that has probably been known to the Sages of Old for ever, but still.  So anyway I started thinking about how really, there IS so much to know and pay attention to.  How do you decide, given that for the longest time one may not know what actually interests one, especially if the crucial division between FACT and FICTION is not made.  It makes it very hard indeed to know where to sensibly direct the attention.  We live in a society with lots of rules about “right” and “wrong”, but when you think about it, the rules often have not got much to do with what really IS right or wrong.  There’s right and wrong in mathematics and chemistry (try baking a cake without measuring!), and it is wrong to intentionally inflict harm I think we might all agree. Or we should, anyway.   A lot of the rest of it is not just a tissue of lies but a mammoth fiction quilt created by someone whose taste is all in their mouth.  So it can take a while to actually realize what the things are that actually matter in life, matter whether or not they are known to one and acknowledged- in short, to ascertain what the facts are.  Then, if you’re like me, you can wonder how you wound up with such a different set of facts to be interested in than almost everyone around you.

Of course a certain amount of these differing sets of facts we all believe in can be chalked up to life experiences.  The Partner often says he doesn’t understand me because through all the incredible peregrinations of my so-called luck, I LAUGH about things.  This is because why?  Because, a) things ARE funny and b) what’s the alternative?  Mayhem.  (Which would often be HIS selection, in the heat of the moment.) So when, for example, a small but fairly critical percentage of my mail gets returned to sender and reaches me if at all as though by overland wagon train, and I go to the post office and say, ????????, and THEY say, oh, gosh.  We can’t tell without seeing what was in the envelope (a bank statement, people), and it was most likely just…well, net net.  It was most likely just some renegade individual making a mistake.  Often.  At the same time, they’ll put mail in my box from my friends that has only my name and the city and state on the envelope.   I love my post office, really.  It’s just that the constant, unrelenting drip drip drip of fracas at times can get to a person.

Which led to the penultimate AM thought, propelling me out of bed and into the Day’s Reality.   Which is more than gnarly enough, let’s just say.  At a juncture many years ago, after a life disaster of epic proportions which propelled me on the initial bump bump bump down the stairs of financial and any other sort of stability, I had a thriving business doing transcription.  Oh, I know.  DINOSAURS WERE ROAMING THE EARTH THEN.  But.  It was something I was good at, times were tough, and I found myself as the designated person to transcribe all the interviews of accused murderers being defended by either the Public Defender or volunteer, Pro Bono, attorneys. in Alameda County.  Which contains in it the City of Oakland, among others.  So there were some big murders.  Hell’s Angels bar shootups, furious renegade Injuns and National Guard members driving cars with screwdrivers instead of car keys and shooting people on the 580.   Listening to all these people talk about what had happened, what they’d done, hearing the denials and reasons and prevarications, and sometimes finding some parts of the interviews that no one had picked up on which had positive meaning for the client involved- all of this, of course interspersed with long sections where the interviewee would be mumbling into their armpit, followed by the Detective dropping a pencil (always a pencil, for some reason- I guessed it was for the bouncing) right next to the microphone and having the experience of a steel beam being shoved into one’s ear….that was the life.  But it did give me a different sense of FACT than I’d had before.  There was a whole lot more despair and anger out there in the world than I had ever imagined.  (Which is actually saying quite a bit.) There were people who really, on some level, had never separated fact from fiction, and thus could perform actions that left people outside their situation wondering how anyone could DO something like that.  So here were these people, breaking the laws of the society, performing irrevocable acts almost heedlessly, living in circles of hell and not being able to see or do anything else.  They were relegated to a paradigm that would encompass their entire lives: Prison.  Or an untimely death.  Or both.  It seemed to me then, and now still, that there really must be some way to explain things to people so they start to see there are other options than these.  More options than rage and sloth and running from the dark things inside.  Lots of facts, lots of fictions.  At times, hard to decipher.

So, anyway.  That’s how TODAY started.  We also saw something called “harmonically balanced water” for sale when out and about, and several other quite odd things.  This end of the world stuff could really go either way, it’s looking like more and more.  Meanwhile.  We’ll see how tomorrow goes.  We could finally see all the mountains today, first time in weeks.  That must be a good thing, at least.


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