Pressure points

At times it seems harder to get through a day now than it has ever been. Things often don’t really make sense- like how people drive, let’s say.   Other times it seems like the swing between anxiety and joy happens with more force and more terrifying, if monotonous, regularity than one can actually cope with altogether.  The good thing is that there IS joy and potential.   The challenging thing is that the little rope bridge one clings to on the way there often seems to be completely unravelling.

The big mystery is how so many people manifest so little awareness about what’s going on.  This is in general of course, but in today’s world?  Good lord.  We’re running out of bees for real, just for starters.  Monsanto hasn’t really thought this far ahead, it seems. We’re in a drought here in California, and the powers that be are considering allowing fracking up and down the state.  Uh.  Fracking does, in fact, pollute groundwater.  Not what you need in a drought.  Fracking does contribute to earthquakes, Gentle Reader.  On last inspection we are in a fault-laden extravaganza of earth here in this state.  So this sounds good, doesn’t it?  Poison the little remaining water, and then rig up an earthquake so nobody’ll notice.  Or maybe it’ll all be just fine.  Anyone care to look at a bridge?

It’s disconcerting, to say the least, to face all of this every day.  People believe what they want to believe and keep going as fast as possible to avoid paying real attention to what’s going on.  I notice this myself when I talk to people who should know better and who deny, for example, that there’s a problem happening at Fukushima.  We WANT it to be OK, so therefore we apparently tell ourselves there’s no issue, and that’s that.  There are so many realities and worlds now existing simultaneously.  Maybe it was always like this and we’re just seeing it more clearly now, what with the veil between Us and It having been grievously rent.  But seriously?  The realities of economic “inequality” alone are staggering, and even more so when so many don’t even acknowledge them.  At the same time, there are so many people at the bottom end of things in this country who are on disability, do the incarceration rag, use quantities of horrible white powders, hate everything and still vote Republican.  They do not appear to have received the memo that reached the inner cities some time ago .  But in the meantime it is a bit shocking to be in the, say, Dollar Store and realize that this is where these same people obtain “credit”, in the form of prepaid cards.  Credit for the great unbanked so they can go forth and shop after all.   A whole other world, reality, life.

The thing of it is, that this other reality is as pervasive as it is unacknowledged.  The press of advertising, of capitalist exploitation, is the current opiate of the masses- or at least the masses who don’t head straight for substance abuse and get it over with.  People seem to still believe in the “American Dream” and think they can afford it.  At the same time as they know there is no clear economic future for them or their children, and not much of a present if they don’t change course.  Retirement is an unfunny joke, and one almost laughs at interviews with people in their 40’s and 50’s who really think they’ll still have the jobs they’ll need at 70.  The notion of “jobs”, period, is an interesting one.  What jobs? and for whom?  Those in the ruling positions must know they’ve about shot their feet clear off what with dismantling education and fooling around with what gets taught as “science”.   We don’t have an adequate work force, they say.  But adequate for what?  Working at backbreaking jobs for minimum wage or less?   Who, in the end, is going to keep batting their brains out so that someone else gets rich and they barely eat?  I don’t think this is a tremendous exaggeration, either.  Not to mention the huge problem of debt, of all sorts.  Education and health care can really put you in the poorhouse.  And then what?  You have a degree or a remission so that you can proceed to agonize over how to pay for it?

But, ah, well.  Enough of all that.  It finally rained here, I think this is the third day.  The ground was so cracked and dry it hasn’t even gotten totally muddy yet, but the feeling of possibility and growth is present in every drop.  The birds have all been out taking rain baths and having rather splendidly parliamentary conclaves along the phone wires.   The gray squirrels are courting (even if it is in the middle of the road) and the coyotes are positively Wagnerian.   We’re poised on yet another brink.

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