life in the heat

After a few days of one hundred plus degree temperatures, the brain starts to feel…a bit poached.  It’s an interesting position in some ways since one is put nose to nose with not-doing.   The press of must do’s, to do’s, what about doing’s- in fact the entire thrust of life as most of us know it, just stops.  It’s too darn hot.

So as I watch our vegetables sort of say, Really? You expect me to grow in THIS? I see that they do, in fact, grow in THIS.  A new baby rabbit is padding around the back end of the yard, the lizards are catching bugs in mid air, and late the other night I saw all the toads come up out of their hidey-holes and hop around the garden.  There was a time when I might have been a bit freaked out by that sight- lots of indefinable black shapes coursing over the ground.  But apparently I have evolved, and sitting in an 80 degree late night north wind, I just thought, groovy! Toads!  The roses are in a second bloom.

Lots of other things have required shift of late, and it’s been really hard even by my new and improved standards for hard.  But then I realized something, which was this.  The struggles we have with things in our lives often involve resistance  and fear, or some other challenge to the old equilibrium.   I am afraid of heights, for example, which I found out the hard and somewhat spectacularly embarrassing way.  I realized however that I actually enjoy the heights themselves.  It’s just what’s below that seems to get my stomach meridian wildly bent out of shape.   Situations that seem impossibly daunting are like the “what’s below”.  And how one deals with the “what’s below” determines everything.  If you constantly look at the wake being churned up by a boat, you never see the forward motion, and even if what you see below gives you fright and pause, it’s important to remember that you are actually UP HERE and not down below THERE.   Regrouping allows for a more correct assessment, and that allows for action that moves you forward instead of keeping you stuck.   It may not always be action that makes you feel better, but it will be the proper response nonetheless.  Sometimes that’s all you got.   Getting off the horses of RIGHT and WRONG and not opinionating about everything is a challenge, and I myself have wondered if the train is ever going to arrive now that I’ve not got my old rides.  I have to think, though, that every time any one of us can move forward past the old conditioning, and into a new way of being, it’s a good thing.

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