and then?

I must say, Gentle Reader, it FEELS like a different year but then again.  It could just be the way a person feels when they’re on leave from a combat position.

However, one thing is definitely true: I am now an even firmer believer in Pneuma,  the Tao, miracles, the energies of the universe- all of those phrases used to connote something bigger than our minds can initially comprehend but in which we swim, always.  Not the top down authority of “religion” but the actual real deal that, while often obscured by smoke and mirrors, still exists and moves our lives.

To wit: The Dog almost died. Yes, really.  We gave him some fresh trout (which, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and I went fishing, was perfectly OK), not realizing that it would make him deathly ill, parasites and bacteria and the whole megilla.  Which it did.  The symptoms started the day before Christmas Eve (ataxia, diarrhea, no eating, no smiling), and our vet was closed for the four days of Christmas holiday commencing with Christmas Eve, as well as for New Year’s.  Thinking he might’ve eaten something strange outside, we thought we’d give it a couple of days to go away.  It didn’t. We had a three day window of Veterinary opportunity, in short, between festivities.  He couldn’t eat, couldn’t, after I crawled around in pre-dawn darkness scraping up a diarrhea sample to take to the vet on the Monday after Christmas, take his medicine without throwing up.  The smell, let’s just say, was not festive. He lost, we think, about 12 pounds.  We got different meds for him post poop sample, which had all things been equal at the time, he could chew like a treat.

Given that things were NOT equal at the time, we found ourselves on New Year’s Eve confronting the dismal prospect of him wasting away, immediately and painfully, since we didn’t have the money to take him to the Animal Hospital for IV treatment, and there was no such thing as eating ANYTHING much less opening the capacious jaw for pill installation.

So.  It was pretty gloomy for a minute.  The most awful thoughts were on parade and the mere thought of Him Not Being Around, Underfoot With Squeak Toy, was more painful than I could’ve imagined. Then somehow, a light went off in my head, and I thought, well, heck.  Given that what I *do*, for the most part, is based on energy it made sense to at least clean up my own energetic output in the moment and stop dwelling on the rottenness of it all.  Suddenly a calm trust happened, out of nowhere.  Really.  The Partner said that we, at least, needed to eat.  We decided on scrambled eggs with mushrooms, ham and cheese (all organic and uncured, thank you very much).   We sat down and all of a sudden the Partner got up, took his plate over to The Dog, who raised his bleary red eyes to it, lifted his head up in interest, and ate everything.  Every last speck.  We gave it half an hour, and after no vomit ensued, gave him his first dose of antibiotics. (The Partner celebrated with a nut butter and jam sandwich.)  By the end of New Year’s Day,The Dog was back on his feet and eating more scrambled eggs in between trottings around outside maintaining order.  Today? He’s back to full force, doing his two foot in the air bunny hops, squeaking his toys, and eating his dog food and treats ravenously.  As well as taking his pills as though they were treats.

Personally? I think this is a miracle.  I also think these things, miracles, actually do happen all the time, and something of what it takes to experience them is simple.  You let go of thinking that “you” can “do” or “control” anything.  You sit with what is, what’s in front of you, and give your best attention to it.  It isn’t about power, or manipulation, or wish fulfillment, or any religious or other figures stepping in.  It is, actually, about love.  Like everything turns out to be, in the end.

4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by soulspeak2013 on January 4, 2016 at 4:56 pm

    Dear Friend…What a journey..miracles indeed with each moment..and yes…it’s in Life…as we observe the we pay attention…it is indeed the power of Love and I am so joyous that all is well in your kingdom…blessings abundant…you dominated your environment with love….Namaste’


    • thank you so much for this. i have indeed, of late, been far more successful with love than at prior times in my life when, i think, fear ran me more than anything else. Blessings and thanks!


  2. Posted by soulspeak2013 on January 8, 2016 at 11:15 am

    I am stopping in to send Love and good wishes dear friend. I hope the dog is doing well, and I hope you are doing well also. You just came to my mind this morning..blessings for your journey ..have an amazing weekend


    • OH, thank you thank you thank you. I am grateful we have connected! The Dog is indeed doing better and had a triumphal return to the Vet; everyone had tears in their eyes, of happiness.


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