Oh Gentle Reader. So much has happened and of course the more things change……
We will start with Part Two…… We were not too far away from another horrible, horrible fire. Thousands of people displaced and many killed. An entire town (Paradise) burnt to the ground. Of note is the fact that of the 1000 or so missing people, and the 80+ deaths, a large percentage were over 65. Let the fact sink in that these woods are full of elders living hand to mouth with absolutely no safety net of any kind. There are many wonderful things about this area, but it is also full to the brim of poverty and homelessness. And people who have no other place to go than their current roof over head situation. And of course, it’s winter, and it’s the “holidays”. The local community got together with the wonderful and intrepid and humane chef Jose Andres, who I have always loved and firmly believe has wings stuffed into HIS shirt too, and with the Sierra Nevada brewery, and fed hundreds of evacuees Thanksgiving dinner. First responders, still fighting the fire and away from their families, served the meal.
In striking contrast to bloviating pustule who blew through here, couldn’t remember the name of the town that burned (calling it “Pleasure, and what a name!”), and suggested that if Californians raked their forests all this could be avoided. The news footage of bp, Governor Brown, and a Cal Fire official was unbelievable: Cal Fire guy’s eyes were literally bugged out of his head, the Governor was looking at the middle distance as if wondering how much longer he could stand there before he decked somebody….I could say more. But I will limit myself to two things: (A) pustule and your poisonous cohort and chain illegal immigrant family? YOU’RE FIRED. (B) Another swell move by pustule was to authorize OUR military service people, sent to the border, to use lethal force on people attempting to cross the border and seek asylum. The Partner believes that for the most part, our service people would refuse to do that, and that no authority exists for this action. I certainly hope so. I saw a meme today that also relates to this whole nasty mess: If you believe that a fertilized egg is a human being, and refugee kids are not? Then you’d better stop saying you are motivated by religion.
I find this all so….staggering and dismaying…that no sense can be made of the fact that all of this continues to go on, and expand. What is wrong with everyone that they don’t stand up and say THIS MUST STOP. I have periodic cry breaks, let’s just say. Then I blow my nose, or what’ s left of it, and carry on.
And now on to Part One. Carrying on was already a bit of a challenge, and then? The day Paradise burned up, my mother died. The for far too long unrecognized bane of my existence left this plane. On my end, it was pretty awful and the Dog got worried. But then I saw an excerpt from a book, Inner World of Trauma, and the kaleidoscope shifted. Everything I experienced, went through, suffered? had, over the course of my life, become an externalized Thing which kept me in fear, anguish, doubt, and a constant quest for replacement baggage when the original matched emotional set fell apart. So, in a way, all this torment was…not real. It was a complex constellation of things that came together in my baby brain and just stayed. And grew. Not anyone’s fault, no blame, just kind of a massive Oh. My. God. Suddenly and at long last? I put it all down. It’s a bit strange having all this space in my mind now. But I am here to tell you it can be done. So whatever your burden is? It can be transformed and so can you. It takes work, of course, and a willingness to feel what you’re feeling and a shift in focus from My Very Important Story to the grandeur of life and the world as it is every minute and of which you are an integral part. Perennial wisdom, as it is called in the many forms it takes, is an invaluable help. Buddha is not the only one to say, the fear and attachment and attitudes that you have are not really yours. The hike to understanding just what this really means is not easy, you have to do it yourself, and the weather on the way can be horrible. But it is probably the most important walk you’ll ever take. The love and support of one’s friends cannot be overlooked either.
During this festive period another really fun thing happened. A spider decided to bite me on the cheekbone…and boy howdy!!!!!!! I went from normal to sci-fi experiment gone horribly wrong in less than an hour. Swelling, pain, acid-like suppurations from the eye, and a very special red bull’s eye all around the affected area. I very briefly considered going to the doctor, and thought again after the last visit where I had to wait an hour for a scheduled appointment because someone else was late for theirs and filled the entire office with yelling about how they were on psychiatric medications and we’d all better look out. I even more briefly considered going to the oxymoronically named Emergency Room, but remembering how close they came to killing me the last time I went, thought better of it. Here is what I did, with sensible input from the Partner. (1) Sprayed affected area with Vetericyn. Nobody should be without this stuff, which comes in both veterinary and human packaging. Exactly the same, but if you’re human it costs twice as much. It can be sprayed in the eyes, in open wounds, burns, kills pathogens including fungus and MRSA. The Dog views it favorably as well. (2) Did Jin Shin Jyutsu on self. Nobody should be without THIS stuff either. (3) In between sprays and JSJ, I came up with a new cocktail, which I call the Linus Pauling. ( He was a famous scientist of yore, who once said that if you had a shot of vodka and vitamin C every day, you’d probably be fine.) I knew vitamin C would help and as miserable as I was, and since I always used powdered, I thought, heck. WHY NOT. So. Powered vitamin C, vodka, and orange juice. I actually look…uh….normal…now. So it turns out venom can be dealt with, too.
Onward, in any event. Blessings and thanks as always!
Boozilla: learning to fly one room at a time 