Posts Tagged ‘Live and Learn’

How Many More Times

Well, Gentle Reader, I suppose it will be as many more times as it takes.  Lately we’ve had an accelerated learning curve, which felt more like a ghastly roller coaster ride from which one might be ejected at an inopportune time which could happen at any moment.

Setting aside the discovery of who didn’t really give a fuck about me, which was upsetting enough, our landlady decided to lose one of her multiple personalities’ minds last week and this caused enough ripples in the pond of MY mind to be moderately time consuming.  As a result we are now internetless at the Yurt which adds another level of complexity to running an online business, and blogging, but what the heck!  We’re firmly back on the horse of :THISISANADVENTUREITWILLALLBEJUSTFINE:

instead of the horse of :WE’REGOINGDOWNINFLAMES:

So.  Since it’s a long way down, falling off a horse, it might as well be from the happy one.  Meanwhile, what have we learned THIS week?

There’s an element of resonance to money.  It’s much easier to have a good relationship with it if the original foundation of one’s life involves having it not be a problem. Like attracts like, sort of thing. It made me feel somewhat better about things to realize that since neither the Partner nor I had that resonance training, the fact that we’re blazing this new trail and it is…definitely a New Trail with all the excitement and difficulties pertaining thereto…well, it doesn’t mean we’ve failed.   In fact, it doesn’t really mean anything except we’re trekking our way through the wilderness.  And since the truth of it is that neither of us wanted to be part of the Current Structure As It Exists, it makes sense that we’ve adopted another approach, decided to live consciously and as stewards of our existences and places we find ourselves.  However one cannot forget that many are more firmly attached to the mirage of money and the supposed reality of all that than others.  It can make things hard.  Which lead to Upsetting Experience The First (alluded to above, complete with expletive).

This other approach we’re attempting involves looking at each situation in terms of accepting it as being exactly what is appropriate at the time.  Not judging, not ascribing “meaning”, but looking at it for meaning and training.  The challenge of this is to deal with one’s fear straightforwardly instead of either suppressing it or pretending it isn’t there.  I think this is true whatever the situation in question. There are so many things to learn in life, so many situations, and so many times when one feels as though one is not just lost, but on the edge of a precipice.   But there always is direction, and it can take time to see the entire elephant, as it were.  We don’t have a lot of time, but we have enough.

I’ve been reading a lot of blogs lately and have come to the conclusion that at this point in time, the twenty and thirty somethings and the fifty and sixty somethings have a very great deal in common.  A huge area of  commonality is debt, accompanied by  strangled income stream leading to questionable future.  I also thought about what, to me, is the really good thing about the internet.  And that is not about being targeted by advertisers or having your movements tracked or having the thing think for you.  No, it is the egalitarian nature of communication that can be accessed.  Of course, it’s not COMPLETELY egalitarian because it takes money to be online.  But when, yesterday, I was looking for a solution to my internet woes, I saw that in fact, there’s a huge mobile population using IPads and IPhones and not needing an established “place” in which to have contracted service.   Nor are you restricted to WiFi! No! Anyplace a cel phone works!  Which isn’t very many places around here, true but…a small monthly fee and I can sit in the Cal Fire parking lot and work, for example.  (Hey there handsome Fire Captain! Perks is what that is.) What I found encouraging in this was that I think there are many,many of us out there, who may have a more collective orientation, a more concensus based approach based on real needs.

To me, these real needs are what have to be addressed, and what can be at times hard to figure out in one’s own mind.  How often do you wonder what it is you really want or need?  Especially in stressful times when one’s vision grows short and going to sleep is about all you can get excited over after a long day of work the result of which is unknown.   While this bear is no spring chicken, this bear can also figure out what time it is, eventually.  Real needs are about living, really living.  They are about truth, and they are also about acknowledging that we all really need the same things. The resources of this earth are not for some to hoard and others to have none of.   It is not, also,  a good thing to have that vaseline smeared lens between the legacy group, those with money and power, and the Citibank -named ” precariat”.  This lens means that those above it can continue to think that their good fortune comes from their own goodness, and thus those below are not good, not worthy.  In fact, in today’s world what that really means is that opportunities have been taken up by a small percentage of people instead of being spread across the board.  We have fallen into a strange mind set of not knowing how to do things for ourselves (build a fire, grow food, tend your illnesses), accompanied by an odd rootlessness in terms of a civic participation and generosity.  Perhaps it simply that we are in a time of incredible transition, old foundations are crumbling and we can’t see the new ones.  In such a time then, it seems imperative that we stay with our selves, stay honest, know that the more we let go the better off we are, keep thinking and..well, stay on the sunny side of life.  That’s our project for today.


The Fourth Cone

We were listening to RADIO LAB yesterday on the beloved JPR, and it was about how we see color.   Cones, rods, butterfly eyes, what gets reflected from color spectrums….it’s fascinating.  What really struck me, besides the fact that a small percentage of women have an ACTUAL FOURTH CONE in their eyes (IMAGINE THAT- all that delicious color!)  and potentially see a lot more color than everyone else,  was the story of the color blue.

Net net, blue is a color people don’t necessarily “know” they “see”, which is different than being “color blind” and thus unable to detect the range.  Or they didn’t know until there was a word for it.  The sky, of course, is the most prominent example of blue for most of us, and interestingly when certain remote tribes and tiny children were asked what color the sky was, they didn’t have a word for it.  Homer didn’t have a word for blue, either, and it didn’t show up in any early civilizations except Egypt.

This seemed to me like an extension of my  year’s preoccupation with the invisible 97% of everything.  As in, we use three percent of our brain power, we perceive three percent of what’s around us.  Just as the indigenous peoples of the Caribbean couldn’t see the Spaniard’s  black ships, and many through the ages didn’t see the sky as blue- we really do see what we expect to see, and it’s pretty hard to see something we’ve never seen before.  Which is why lost objects turn up in the oddest places where we’ve already looked twenty times, probably, and why habits are so hard to break- especially the habits of resistance.  It’s also interesting that this 3%/97% thing is kind of mimicked in our economics now.  You know, the one percent? Less than three but if you’re honest, it really does take up the bulk of the spectrum, that one percent of humanity.

So as always, it is indeed about how able one is to see what is really in front of one.  This takes a tremendous amount of energy since at this point, it has a great deal to do with rising above the “glamour” that has been thrown over things- how they appear to be.  Which is  quite a bit different than how they actually ARE.   The ancients knew about this, but in our historical epoch we seem to have enshrined glamour and forgotten what it really is.  And what it really is, is something the purpose of which is to, essentially, mislead people.

In a way, then, life is like learning to see the color blue.  You observe the sky where it resides, and have to separate the quality of the sky from the “it” of it, sort of.  Blue is an aspect of something huge; as long as we simply look at that huge thing thinking we “know” it, we may not see all the rest of it- in short, we’re seeing, what? about three percent.

Somehow this all connected with the newest leap, which has to do with abandoning all hope of having internet at home for now, at least.  The Partner pointed out that I was spending so much time struggling with it that nothing was getting done.  My time was taken up in dealing with, let’s say, the sky.  And I couldn’t tell it was blue, more or less.  My tendency was to keep struggling since the three percent I saw…well, that was it.  Now, there’s a new bunch of arrangements coming up, and I’ve been a bit surprised at how my Inner Mob, the one with the stakes and lit torches, is clamoring for things to stay the same- it’s too scary to contemplate a round world rather than a flat one.   This has been very instructive in terms of looking around at everything going on in the larger world.   And it reminded me of a pretty basic instruction that goes across the board, which is- take a deep breath, get quiet, then open your eyes and let yourself see what you’re looking at.  Even if you do it in tiny increments, ultimately it puts you in a much more sound position.  Even if you do it now, in this crazy world and it is a bit scary to see that things are not what you thought they were.  Just think.  If everyone actually opened their eyes and took a good look? Things might change, no matter how many cones you’ve got.  I think many of us are hoping for this on many levels.

Meanwhile, here on the planet where time has no meaning, the power’s gone out again- the continuing story of Our Week of Bad Breakers.  Catch you later, Gentle Reader.

Like cooking an egg

In terms of available time, that is.  Places to go and things to do, etc.  But as usual, on this last day of the year, it seems like it’s just started.  But that’s NEXT year that’s just starting.   Easily confused, apparently.

Such a plethora of gloom and doom we’ve been subjected to in poor 2011.  And of course there’s more drama brewing in the corridors of power and yet at the same time…….In fact, according to the Mayan calendar, this coming year which includes spectacular Venusian events is the end of a long cycle.  So we should be happy and celebrate completion.

For my part, the past year has rivalled almost anything in my previous life in terms of just get down, knock down drag out, dead bang, eye watering horror, how much longer can I stand this, AM I GOING TO DIE? sort of stuff.  Naturally one has also learned alot, and since I made the policy decision to not ask whether I really needed to know any of it (obviously I do, so get on with it), it’s easier.  The interesting thing is, of course, that one learns through experience, in much wisdom is grief etcetera.  As Nietsczshe said, what doesn’t kill one makes one stronger.  Also, what makes you stronger also makes you more open to it all, so having learnt many things means all the feelers are turned on even more than before, it’s just a bit different.   There may have been some very useful things but at the moment I’m just kind of dazed by the new sensation of being immersed in life and also flying high above it.   Watching all those fun mistakes I make!

HOWEVER.  I can report one thing I’ve absolutely learned this year.  Those frozen blue ice block thingys?  ABSOLUTE PARTY AND FIRST AID ESSENTIALS.  Pick up a broiling hot pot lid with your bare hand?  Stick that ice block on it until you don’t feel any pain.  Get soundly bitten by a prima donna parrot? Blue puppy to the rescue.  The next day it is as though no insult occurred.  It is, for me anyway, truly wonderful to know that there is, after all, a way to avoid constant scarring by life’s daily activities.  So, blue ice blocks, you are my heroe-ines for the past year, and have really kept the Quasimodo Factor, at least, to a dull roar.  Happy New Year Gentle Reader!

Whirled Bears

That is pretty much IT in a nutshell, Gentle Reader.  I’ve finally realized, as of today, that I simply cannot maintain organization as a continuing state.  It is as though someone, somehow, goes through everything when I’m occupied elsewhere and renders it largely chaotic.  Probably the same someone who twists every cord on everything I use into something beyond recognition.  It just happens.  I find mail (important of course) I haven’t opened, the refrigerator is verging on needing FEMA attention, and I finally made a list today, just to be able to cross something off it and feel as though…Something Got Done.  Next week I’ll have to face The Laundry Again and that means biting the bullet and finding a dryer.  Somewhere.  Taken separately none of these things are the stuff deal breakers are made of.   But when you add a few real life dilemmas, quandaries, quagmires and pains in the butt it really just makes a person want to go back to bed.  Instead of attempting to reduce the stack of things being worked on sitting on the one and only table, or doing something about the freezer besides crossing myself every time I pass it.

Part of it is just exhaustion, of course.  It’s been a strenuous life and the past two years have been beyond anything that happened before. Which is saying something.  So.  We’re tired.  Then there are all the projects and things that must be done to keep body and soul together in all the ways that needs to be done.  Sometimes it seems as though everything is moving so fast and there’s so little one can do about it that anything beyond staying in the flow is superfluous, if not downright impossible.  Keeping one’s perspective is a full time job when you’re skating on the edge, as it turns out we all are at this point in time.  The Partner is convinced that we got stuck on one of the strings that may or may not constitute the universe, one where things are like what we know here, but not quite.  Thank God for physics, really.  It can bring you right back around when those woozy fits hit.   Like today, when I’m, in theory, Working and Doing Things and I Know What I’m Talking About.

Anyway last night as I was in the garden cutting some herbs for dinner, Tyrant the Hummingbird appeared out of nowhere, as he is wont to do.  He looked at me from beside the feeder  for some time, then apparently deciding that I needed to be actually told what to do about that feeder (fill it up! HUNGRY HUMMINGBIRD ON SITE) he buzzed over to where I was standing, and in a series of loudly sound tracked pirouettes and tail moving semi mid air standstills came to within six inches of my face.  We looked into each other’s eyes and it was astounding.  As usual.  The color! The feathers! The EYES!  They have coloration around them that is probably to make them look fierce, and having one hover right in front of your nose is just the tiniest bit unnerving.  They have a rather commanding presence.  But he was just showing off and playing of course and I humbly went and filled the feeder, thinking all the while how amazing it is that a hummingbird is more or less telling me what to do. Of course sometimes I feel like SOMEBODY better tell me what to do, but still.   That he can make the connection and act on it is food for thought indeed.  Not that I’m surprised or anything but I did have a moment of thinking, listen here you birds!!!! I am not the avian slave girl!!! You don’t get to boss me around.  And, well, ha ha to that of course.  I came in with the empty feeder and the parrots reminded me that it was time for their crackers and coming out, dinner and dancing as per usual, and why didn’t I just hurry up.  In the end everyone got their needs met, even us.  Balance restored for the moment.  Dancing always helps.


The Train Didn’t Stop

Not yesterday, anyway.  No, that Blog Train just hurtled along reminding me once again that we are not in Kansas anymore.  Which is fine by me.  It amazes me to think that I used to have a life where things were moderately predictable and now every day is pretty much a crap shoot.  And, of course, WIN SOME LOSE SOME.

Anyway, expotitions today about which maybe there will be something to report.  Or not.  But I’m thinking mostly about how changing our own attitudes about things is the most important thing we can do in any situation, and how hard it is to do that.  Once you do accomplish a shift in behavior and things work better, you’re like, Dude! Why didn’t I do this sooner?  But you do things when you do them, this is indeed a wacky planet in some respects. So we cling to these idea of separateness, being different which equates to being isolated quite often, the us and them, and all the rest of it.  It is certainly true that people ARE different, and when you’re “too different” you can have a tough row to hoe for sure.  Still, you can adopt an approach of exploration and understanding of how truly temporary everything we experience is.  If you can ride with that for a while and live with the grief we experience upon that understanding, and the denial that leads people to conduct their lives as though they’ll live forever and there is some concrete something “out there” that will once and for all tell them what time it is in the way they want to hear that news, then, as Krishnamurti said, a whole new experience arises.  If you can put the fear down, it doesn’t necessarily change what “happens”, but it certainly changes “how” it happens.  And that space where “you” connect with “It” is where things change.  And that is something I think we can all agree needs to happen, and soon.

Later, alligator!

Sometimes I Wonder

I’m finding at present that there are a couple of things that make me feel as though I’m getting ready to slap the daylights out of whoever is saying them.  First, anything about 2012.  Second: Be in the Now.  Of course I know that we must be in the now, it’s the only place you CAN be, really.  But.  It’s becoming a glib phrase and as such risks losing whatever meaning it might once have had.

I confess I am totally tired of hearing people yap about 2012 as though they Know All About It.  What ever happened to just shutting the heck up and seeing what happens?  You know- being in the now.  It is as though people are telling you to do something they will not do themselves.  What a novelty, right?

One of the remaining horses here reached over the fence to me last week and very gently licked the tears from my cheeks after Harley got buried. (This being MY now, it should come as no surprise that I am allergic to horses and one side of my face swelled up swiftly.)  The heartbreak at the heart of things, as a poet once wrote.  I continue to puzzle over the fact that animals can communicate with us clearly, honestly, and directly, and do so.  Humans, on the other hand, seem to go out of their way to misdirect.  I have thought of that profound moment with the horse, and all the rest of it, through the absolute plethora of awful things that have happened just since last week.  My cup runneth over, Gentle Reader.  And although I have other (important! thought provoking!)  things to write about, what I’m thinking now is this: Come on over here  and sit by me, and be in MY now, friend, and then tell me what you think.  Because when you can’t go back and the future is totally uncertain and the present contains more upset and problems than you can really cope with, even with a full box of Alka Seltzer to balance it all out, there really isn’t anything for it.  Except continuing to breathe.

Curioser and Curioser

So, the Black Dog? Came back dressed as Big Foot.  Smackdown City. But we’re upright once again, more or less.  Knowing there are no coincidences, the revelations recently have been hard to evaluate, both world wide and right here in…uhm….well, here in a spot where time really doesn’t have any meaning, or at least not the same meaning it used to.  The months fly by like two or three hours and the days sometimes seem like entire seasons.

I was thinking about writing about all the weirdness in the world, the short sighted and enormously selfish actions of our friends the Ownership Class.  Apparently, for example, one individual obtained a PATENT for QUINOA.  Monsanto, I think it is, has a PATENT for BLACK WHEAT.  Which of course is the primary wheat everyone on earth eats.  So while I felt things exploding in my head about all that, plus the whole issue of the Privatization of Water…WATER, people.  I suppose Air will be soon to follow.  Anyway, while I was wobbling on my pins, the following little story happened.

At about 3 a.m. a few days ago, we were awakened by what sounded like a huge dogfight.  Somebody must’ve been getting their balls chewed off, at the very least.  Of course it went on for a long, long time: About 45 minutes of solid yowling, yelping, snarling and barking.  And, actually it was kind of funny, the entire sound effect MOVED AROUND.  From this, Gentle Reader, being as brilliant as I am, I realized it was a bunch of dogs RUNNING AROUND.  There are still some MIA cows out here, and we’ve already seen one episode of truly awful carnage from the collision of unmanaged “pet” dogs and cows.   But anyway.  Net net we didn’t get any sleep and the following day was a bit bumpy as a result.  We did learn to whom these neglected dogs belong, however, and it is a person who just lets them run wild and also has the communication skills you might expect.  These dogs maraud through the land we live on all the time.  It’s against the “law”, of course.  It’s dangerous to both livestock and people.  But, there they are, and they’re  big.  Animal control does exist here but what do you think they say?  They say, don’t  call us, just shoot ’em.  Period.  Besides it takes too long to get out here.  Anyway we received a communication from the “neighborhood” reinforcing just whose dogs these are, and this was where I couldn’t quite keep my grip anymore.  While quite parliamentary and rational in tone, this call concluded with instructions about what to do with the dog’s bodies once they got shot.  I don’t know.  This is quite a different world than I’ve knowingly spent time in before, let’s just say.  It’s a terrible thing to neglect the animals who depend on you.  A domesticated dog who is allowed to roam around at will and behave as though it is wild becomes dangerous, and not a dog you can really have around.  If you don’t want your throat bitten out, that is.

Anyway, it just made me…compare and contrast? like they used to make us do in school writing exercises which were loathsome in the extreme….the difference between this life I’m living now, and the one I’m starting to barely remember.  In the city you’re always on 110%, ready to jump on it and go.  But you’re not quite as likely to encounter something life threatening on a regular basis- as long as you exclude other drivers and crazy snipers and superbugs- and it’s a different kind of attention you’re paying.   So there is a kind of insulation in a city even though it is frenetically paced, perhaps because it is so separate from Nature, and one may feel that one is “in control” of things.  A kind of calm  prevails out here, however, because it is, quite clearly, life and death, even though the pace is grinding at times- slower in a way yet with every moment consumed by something that really must be done.  It is clear if you look that you really don’t have much, if any control. So you get to drop THAT idea pretty quickly, if you don’t want to go completely crazy.  The weather determines everything.  It’s hard to believe that if you don’t live in a place where it is so unpredictable and severe.  Your plants may live, or they may die, no matter what you do because the controlling factors are out of your hands.  There are poisonous snakes all over the place for which you must constantly be on watch.  People have horses and take guns on long rides in case the horse breaks a leg.  Livestock gets raised and killed so people can eat.   Death is a constant presence even as life is coming forth all around you- maybe it’s just that it is clearer here because there’s “less” distraction?  If you’re in a place like this, you may have consciously decided to live with Nature instead of behaving as though it doesn’t really exist.  It was actually, in retrospect, rather frightening at first even though I didn’t exactly know it.  Reality has an awesome face, fearsome at times, especially when you’re used to- as I suppose I was- the human driven modus operandi of a city.  Certainly there is danger in a city, no question about THAT.  Nature, however,  cannot really be toyed with or sidestepped.  It does what it does, and of course to my mind the more we mess with it the worse it’s going to “behave”.   There is a rightness to being in tune with Nature, though, that is one of the greatest feelings ever.  You’re paying attention, seriously, and ultimately what you see is that you are the tool, the vessel- and this is what needs the work and application of effort, this fine tuning and cleaning of the tool- so that you as this tool can work coherently with everything that is Out There.  Then, in a way, no matter what happens, you’re in flow with it all.

Ant Correction

The Partner found some ERRORS and OMMISSIONS in the last post.  SO FINE.

Number One.  The ants are 3/8″ long.  Not 1/2″.  Let’s just get that straight, shall we?


Number Two.  There were more ant casualties than I cared to contemplate, apparently.  The Partner was vacuuming when the initial siege was begun.  Therefore, he was standing at the door armed with a Shop Vac, and wielded it in a fearsome manner.  This wielding of the Shop Vac happened last year too, and I suddenly was seized by this thought:  The ants are probably back in their living area, and the older ones are telling the youngsters about the awful, horrible, fearsome sucking wind monster that lives over in the Blue Place.  Don’t ever go over there, they’re saying sternly.  Only the Strongest Ant ever can do that and we’ve decided not to allow our noble ant brothers and sisters to sacrifice themselves ever again.   The young ants are nibbling their feet and shivering at the thought of the fearsome sucking wind monster, even in this heat.

A Year Later

In retrospect, I was too wackadoo in the moment to realize that the first day of the rest of my life was: APRIL FOOL’S DAY.  Of course, now I see it and, wow.  What a sense of humor the universe has!

You may remember, Gentle Reader, the circumstances  last year that led to our departure from the Bay Area and the hejira that followed.  But seriously? April Fool’s Day? When suddenly we were thrust into a completely different world and life and experience.  Unprepared to a certain extent given the precipitous nature of the decision making process.  Stressed out of our tiny little minds, we were like refugees trying to maintain a semblance of normal life. Trader Joe’s was a beacon of regularity.  And wine.

Now, things are swirling through the world like cyclones, and every day brings a new set of things to shake one’s balance.  Nuclear meltdown, global tides of unrest, bankrupt institutions.  We’re still trying to keep body and soul together here on a basic level and having a perhaps remarkable degree of success.   It’s hard to really  measure what you do because of course you’re IN it, there’s no distance between You and Pressing Events.   Like bugs, heat, whatnot.  Rampaging pigs and the onset of snake time.

But what I thought about today is how you FEEL going through something like this.  Like any difficult situation, it doesn’t help to lock horns with it.  You have to somehow walk with it, sit with it, be with it.  And that? is hard to do.  Some days you can be lost in the blackness, bitter and angry.  Other days the light shines and you can move forward.  In any event, things are going to come up and they have to be dealt with.  In the normal course of daily life, what used to seem normal in any event, there’s a schedule and a hectic pace and lots of Things to distract you from the rumblings that may be occurring in the inner world.  Not to mention the quantum field.  But when you get torn from everything you formerly knew from landscape to people to daily routine, you’re kind of on your own.  It can be rough.  People don’t always play nicely at these times.  Plus, there is still the quotidian demand to provide for food, shelter, clothes, medicine.   Taking the deep breath turns into something that gets done a zillion times a day.  Sometimes even that doesn’t help.

Ultimately  however, you have to know -because you do come to sense- that there is Something a whole lot bigger than you, of which you are a part.  That Something is moving and shifting and your job is to move with it, not against it.   It’s kind of the old teaching, Not My Will but Thy Will.  But. In our culture, the something bigger is largely related to the capitalistic model.  Religion is about authority, as Emerson wrote, and not about a spirit based reality.  We’re prodded to look outside ourselves for everything, to fill ourselves up like an empty cup, over and over.  I recently heard a meditation teacher talk about how the practice involves, quite often, Starting Again.  Like when your mind wanders to some wildly inappropriate topic when you’re trying to be in the OM? You calmly start again.  Another deep breath, another peek at spaciousness.  And you never really finish.  We have to, it seems to me, learn to accept the fact that things will be unfinished, left undone, the projects stretch endlessly and without proper preparation can even have to be completely redone.  Sort of like the feelings of anger that can come up when your metaphorical toe gets stepped on, chopped off, besmirched, or whatever.  Time to start again, look at the situation in its’ entirety.  Start again.  It can be hard to maintain compassion for self and others when one is so mightily pissed off at times.  It is probably helpful to remember that we weren’t constructed to never, ever get mightily pissed off.  Or scared, or tired.  It is really a question of what we do when those things happen.

So, at the beginning day of another rest of my life, another April Fool’s Day, I can see YET AGAIN that I must start again, not just in my garden but in my self.  But I can see how far we’ve come and what has grown from this adventure.   There’s growth and progress as well as death and winnowing.  This life requires a great deal of patience, but in the end? That is much easier than continually sinking into the pool of unprocessed emotional murk in the same spot time after time.  So, a year later? I think progress has been made.  And it’s time to start again.

Bad Habits

Aside from a tiny bit of procrastination, manifesting powerfully in this moment as resistance to doing my taxes, a tendency to immediately imagine the Worst Case Scenario looms large in the bad habit jungle.  And really.  What’s the point?  If you can imagine it, it probably won’t happen, because the bad things are always so much more elegantly constructed and comprehensive in their effects and awful than anything one can imagine.  Also, you can always feel badly at the actual time of occurrence.   It’s easy for us to create what we fear, and the wise bear refrains from going down that road as much as possible.  Although, at times, looking around I wonder where all my optimism and perseverance has actually gotten me.  Yesterday it largely deserted me, and things were only brought marginally into balance by the baking of cookies.

It appears for the moment that we are engaged in the Paris Peace Talks regarding the over- and inbred population of, it turns out,  S.E. Asian Red Jungle Fowl next door.  There is a Laotian population in this area, which is probably where the original progenitor came from, along with a rag tag band of hens.  Now, of course, there are about forty hens and a dozen roosters.  It’s like something out of Hieronymus Bosch, with new arrivals every day.  It is not hard to understand how they get confused about when to crow and stuff, given that lots of lights go on next door veryveryvery early (then off, of course, right?), prompting the cacophanous result we are treated to every day.  In any event, discussions ensued and it seems that some (not all- after all.  Why would you just have one rooster when you can have chaos with more?) of these roosters are destined for the flea market.  The weather, naturally, has precluded this event from occurring as of yet.   Also, the chicken coop which is directly adjacent to us, will eventually be moved.

This latter much to be hoped for event made me think, also, about bad habits.  These chickens will have to adjust to a whole new living space and location, and frankly? Chickens are not rocket scientists.  Their habit is to be where they are now, roosting in the trees and whatnot.  So they will probably continue to hang out there.  Which will prompt another long standing habit of someone else to erupt, which is anger.   It becomes a large circle, of course, in ever widening ripples.  All caused, on some level, by another bad habit: inattention.

So all this made me think, and it does seem  that at present we are awash in a veritable sea of bad habits.  Governments have bad habits,the banks have bad habits, and the bad habits of the smallish upper percentages of people in this country who have a disproportionate amount of the money cause things to happen and stimulate the anger habit of others.  It seems like that diagram I saw once, of several fish in line, starting with the smallest to the biggest and you could see that the big one was going to wind up with all the others in his stomach.

At times it seems as though all this is completely nullifying the future.  Other times of course one knows that energy moves and everything changes, all the time.  Not engaging in the bad habit of Worst Case Scenario Thinking allows you to keep moving, however slowly some days.  Paying attention to what, exactly, it is that you are seeing is more important than ever.  Noticing how the build up of actions from all the bad habits affects the body.   I’m thinking about flow,  how we can keep ourselves feeling well, and how we don’t do that.  It seems so easy to let things slide, to not pay attention at times.  But it makes it harder in the end.  Oh, well.  It is indeed one day at a time.

MEANWHILE: Wildlife update: Yellow billed magpies! They are astonishing to look at with their dramatic dark and light coloration.  From the back, as they fly off with elegant long tail feathers and draped wing marks, they look magical.  Myself, I’m always ready for magic.  Now if there were only a wand to apply to these taxes……