Posts Tagged ‘living with change’

Sun and Smoke

EVERYTHING is on fire around us.  The smoke  made the sunset sky night before last look like a gigantic bruise, and in the days it muffles the line of sight to the point of nothingness.  We’re remaining calm, right? Everything is tinder around here and on our hill there being only one way out, we’re thinking positively.  No lightning due for a minute, anyway.

Meanwhile, my goodness.  I quit paying attention to the news for two seconds and look what happens.  Ryan as vice presidential contestant, the shocking revelation that the average Republican has apparently been exposed to absolutely no science or logic at all and thus have managed to drag the level down even further on every level where they are to be found.  As a woman, I must say their interpretation of human biology is…quite surprising.  Jumping nekkid into the Sea of Galilee on the taxpayer’s dime is another uplifting episode,too.

It seems to me that the eternal standoff between good and evil (just to TOTALLY OVERSIMPLIFY) is proceeding apace.  My own life is rattling along with pieces large and small falling away from it,  and in a world where cows are fed meat and fish eat chicken, and a country where it is crucially important that we be able to purchase assault rifles but can’t get medicine without an insurance company deciding it’s okay…well.  It’s all getting a bit apocalyptic for my taste.

Which made me think about how difficult we humans find change.  Let’s say you give up a long standing bad habit.  You know it’s bad, you know you feel better without it, but still….it follows you around trying to lure you back.  The comfort of old thought patterns, even if negative, exerts a pull. People can get “stuck” in these situations.  The future is a complete unknown except that what you DO know is that bad habit really, really needs to go.  Like fossil fuel, for example, or codependent relationships. We KNOW we’re destroying the earth and we keep doing it.  We KNOW we’re doing violence to our own hearts and souls, and we keep doing it.  The funny thing is, though, that however terrifying it all is or may be, once you actually do step into the supposed unknown which is really more like the unadulterated present, somehow it’s not quite as frightening as staying in the old tied up position.  One may still be afraid but it is a different ball game, different situation, and ultimately the fear can become guidance rather than leg irons.

Still.  It is difficult to be in such a different part of the journey from what was known before, and to be in such a different part of it that some people can’t even see you any more.  This is where, I think, real faith comes in.  Faith is about inner knowing, inner trust in things unseen and ungrasped perhaps.  Faith comes from spirit.  Faith does not, in my estimation, come from authority, from people telling you HOW IT IS.  None of us on some level really knows doodly about how it is, why we’re here, what’s going to happen next.  In order to have control, feel important, have power, structures have arisen that feed upon this “authority”, and in our world they masquerade as “religion” or “morality”.  In fact they are nothing of the sort, and more like blinders that get attached first thing to keep people from thinking for themselves.

So, to all of us here on Earth, everyone everywhere- start thinking.  Start being curious, start simplifying.  Start with simple, direct talk to yourself.  Start from love- and this also means not accepting what is not good for you, in having compassion and love for yourself along with everyone else, and every THING else as well.  It really isn’t easier not to do this- we just think it is.

The Fourth Cone

We were listening to RADIO LAB yesterday on the beloved JPR, and it was about how we see color.   Cones, rods, butterfly eyes, what gets reflected from color spectrums….it’s fascinating.  What really struck me, besides the fact that a small percentage of women have an ACTUAL FOURTH CONE in their eyes (IMAGINE THAT- all that delicious color!)  and potentially see a lot more color than everyone else,  was the story of the color blue.

Net net, blue is a color people don’t necessarily “know” they “see”, which is different than being “color blind” and thus unable to detect the range.  Or they didn’t know until there was a word for it.  The sky, of course, is the most prominent example of blue for most of us, and interestingly when certain remote tribes and tiny children were asked what color the sky was, they didn’t have a word for it.  Homer didn’t have a word for blue, either, and it didn’t show up in any early civilizations except Egypt.

This seemed to me like an extension of my  year’s preoccupation with the invisible 97% of everything.  As in, we use three percent of our brain power, we perceive three percent of what’s around us.  Just as the indigenous peoples of the Caribbean couldn’t see the Spaniard’s  black ships, and many through the ages didn’t see the sky as blue- we really do see what we expect to see, and it’s pretty hard to see something we’ve never seen before.  Which is why lost objects turn up in the oddest places where we’ve already looked twenty times, probably, and why habits are so hard to break- especially the habits of resistance.  It’s also interesting that this 3%/97% thing is kind of mimicked in our economics now.  You know, the one percent? Less than three but if you’re honest, it really does take up the bulk of the spectrum, that one percent of humanity.

So as always, it is indeed about how able one is to see what is really in front of one.  This takes a tremendous amount of energy since at this point, it has a great deal to do with rising above the “glamour” that has been thrown over things- how they appear to be.  Which is  quite a bit different than how they actually ARE.   The ancients knew about this, but in our historical epoch we seem to have enshrined glamour and forgotten what it really is.  And what it really is, is something the purpose of which is to, essentially, mislead people.

In a way, then, life is like learning to see the color blue.  You observe the sky where it resides, and have to separate the quality of the sky from the “it” of it, sort of.  Blue is an aspect of something huge; as long as we simply look at that huge thing thinking we “know” it, we may not see all the rest of it- in short, we’re seeing, what? about three percent.

Somehow this all connected with the newest leap, which has to do with abandoning all hope of having internet at home for now, at least.  The Partner pointed out that I was spending so much time struggling with it that nothing was getting done.  My time was taken up in dealing with, let’s say, the sky.  And I couldn’t tell it was blue, more or less.  My tendency was to keep struggling since the three percent I saw…well, that was it.  Now, there’s a new bunch of arrangements coming up, and I’ve been a bit surprised at how my Inner Mob, the one with the stakes and lit torches, is clamoring for things to stay the same- it’s too scary to contemplate a round world rather than a flat one.   This has been very instructive in terms of looking around at everything going on in the larger world.   And it reminded me of a pretty basic instruction that goes across the board, which is- take a deep breath, get quiet, then open your eyes and let yourself see what you’re looking at.  Even if you do it in tiny increments, ultimately it puts you in a much more sound position.  Even if you do it now, in this crazy world and it is a bit scary to see that things are not what you thought they were.  Just think.  If everyone actually opened their eyes and took a good look? Things might change, no matter how many cones you’ve got.  I think many of us are hoping for this on many levels.

Meanwhile, here on the planet where time has no meaning, the power’s gone out again- the continuing story of Our Week of Bad Breakers.  Catch you later, Gentle Reader.