Dear o dear, Gentle Reader. Things are Quite Gnarly right now and the cavalry does not appear to be anywhere in the vicinity. I guess we are going to get to be our own cavalry this go round, and for the foreseeable future.
Naturally along with many others, I have been wondering just How we are all going to talk to each other about what IS and what to do and all the rest of it….the polarization is like being a walking pair of sunglasses at this point. I found myself having the thought that it might not be possible at all to get through to some people, no way to talk to or reach them, and how can that be?? Not to mention how truly scary the overarching situation is, COVID-19 aside.
AS usual, Universe to the forefront. Pondering this question ad…well, too far…I recently found myself actually dealing with it in person. Admittedly it took me a minute to realize I was in the process of investigating something complex. But! There I was, in the farm supply store, innocently minding my own business and getting food for the dog. (That part of it, at least, was a success. I got a different flavor this time, turkey and pumpkin and Somebody has been poncing around grinning ever since.) It took a moment to realize that not only was I the only person in a fairly full store wearing a mask, but that some of the other patrons, and employees, were standing at the cash registers, literally glaring at me. You’re wearing a mask! someone said in a stern tone. Yes, I said, I am. We don’t wear masks around here! I do, I said. I was starting to be a bit not happy about this. But I stood there with the dog food and treats, quietly. WHY are you wearing a mask came from the glaring section. Because, I said, it is the right thing to do. It keeps us all from catching this virus which, despite what you might want to believe, IS real, IS around and by the way, we went from zero cases to over 100 in less than a month, in a somewhat underpopulated area to boot. So it’s just common courtesy and common sense. Basic hygeine and infectious disease prevention. Just what you’d do for your cows if they had something wrong with them. The glarers, while having to admit the correctness of the words, stood a bit taller and glared even more.
Fortunately at that moment the man who works at this place, loves the Dog and is friendly to us, came in and came to my rescue. The glarers scattered as he briskly told me how much his wife had loved the sourdough bread we brought him (well, it was the DOG’s idea, being his favorite thing and all, and he wanted to share it with a friend), and she wanted to know how I did it and what not. I told him she could call me anytime, and once you get a good starter going it’s mostly about the flour. A path cleared around me as he lifted the purchases up and took them to my car. Given that this was the next day after I’d spent three hours getting a wheel fixed on the car, and found myself retreating to a far corner of the place since it was full and nobody was wearing a mask and there was a lot of loud conversation about “these rotten protesters” “what kind of idiot wears a mask?” and the usual I’ll do whatever I want sort of thing, it is probably not all that surprising that once I was safe in the vehicle, the shaking began. (The fun folks at the car place even made the woman working the front desk burst into tears after they’d all trooped out, so it isn’t just Me.)
And, yes. That kicked off a few days of bleak thinking. There appeared to be no hope at all, from the perspective of the hole I was in. It seemed like dialogue and moving forward was impossible and even though I know that under anger is pain, I found no interest in myself in toddling one of these individuals along to a clear place in the woods. Then of course the realization dawned that, no, you don’t even have to go there. Just embody what you know to be true, which of course is coming from the heart, coming from being grounded in the reality that nature shows you every second if you look. Maybe I am getting the hang of this by now, never having lived in a place like this before for this length of time. Probably a good thing since it looks like this is the place, for a while. Do no harm, and take no shit seems like a good model in the moment. Set aside the loneliness and put observation in that space instead. Also I remembered in a flash something that had happened a couple of weeks before, right after the Governor said everybody had to mask up period and there was A LOT of complaint, let’s just say. Several errands, some of which had the testiness described above, and the last one, which was like a visit from an angel. There is a panaderia in this town that the Partner really likes and I must say, their conchas and raspberry coconut things are extraordinary. So, I go in and the young latin woman at the counter is sporting a beautiful mask, embroidered with flowers. Mine is a terrific silk/wool number a friend of mine created in shimmering colors. We looked at each other, pointed at each other’s masks, and said, que belleza! Then, out of nowhere, the song “Happy” by Pharrell Williams came on the radio and…we just danced with each other, twirling around the floor. A moment of joy.
So THAT is how we do it. One moment at a time, and it’s OK if the time outs in between have to be a little longer than usual. There really is no room for darkness in one’s soul now, and if the opening to the light must be done as gently as possible, especially given that we’re being hurtled pretty brutally toward an unknown target, that’s OK too. The thing is to show up. As always, blessings and thanks to all.
Boozilla: learning to fly one room at a time 