Winter’s Deep

Already here, it is.  The cows and horses are quite furry, already, and the polka dotted goat on the way to town is looking like he got a new set of thick spots.  The mountain lion paid us a visit too- right up to our front door in fact.  Those were, Gentle Reader, some BIG PAWMARKS.  There are so many animal trails and bedding down spots as I noticed on a walk last week, our spot on the hill is like Grand Central Station even though it all happens pretty quietly- barring the hysterical dog opera that ensues each time somebody passes by.

So as winter deepens and we hear the coyotes all night, I’m watching my life dissolve and change into something completely different.  As one of those people who was guilty of believing, apparently, that the lies we all got told were true and did for the most part what I was “told” to (like working, paying taxes, helping out in the community and all those other things), it is more than disconcerting to essentially be at cliff’s edge, wondering just how this is all going to work out.    I encountered someone yesterday who I had previously thought to be a sensible, grounded person- who commenced a diatribe about how if we’d only seen the President’s birth certificate everything would be different.

Still.  In the midst of it all, there is always the line of enquiry to pursue and revelations of our smallness and intrinsic connections at the same time.  Perhaps this is the point of it at least for now.  Everything is moving and shifting and perhaps there is no fixed point.  Perhaps the fixed point is something we delude ourselves with, like ideas of control and permanence.   All the things we let go of on this journey, all the things we pick up- it is, really, like that aphorism about making a proper cup of tea:  Realizing at one and the same time the imminence and immanence of death, and the brilliance of the sun as it rises and sets, and that those things are essentially the same, one can at last begin to make a proper cup of tea.  So I’m off- to make tea and a turkey.  Blessings, and see you after Thanksgiving!

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