So, I know it’s been a long time Gentle Reader. In the interim, the Editor here has become even more Byzantine or it may just be that my toleration for anything whatsoever has shrunk to an unseeable speck. Maybe.
Also, of course, the Dog is staring deep into my shoulder as I attempt to type, with his usual message of FEED ME! TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME! which will, of course, have to be done.
It has come to my attention though, that on top of all the rest of the joy we’re all experiencing on the planet now, I myself have been undergoing a massive re-build. After the election in November, slump isn’t even the word. I’d been working too hard for too long and the stress of the whole thing finally just came and sat on me and said: Sit. Stay. The Dog can do it, so can you. Choosing as usual to ignore the warnings (couldn’t hold on to anything, anxiety that obviated the necessity for even panic attacks) I carried on until the body finally said, OK. Basta YA. And it has now been two and a half months of actual total change. Everything was up for review and with the help of the loyal and stout Partner and Dog, it appears that Shift has Happened.
I’m still not up to working at the pace of yore but what this all showed me was that, in addition to the huge cosmic shifts we all are experiencing, the big thing was that I was disregarding my requirements in favor of those of others. I allowed the Stuff of the World to crash into my head and control my emotions for a while…which, in days like these, is a total non-starter. Confronted once and for all with the way things not only are, but have been, seeing the truth and fully accepting it…not the most fun ever. But important because of course, we have Work to do . It’s hard to say just what is going on now on our small planet, except that it does not look good from any honest perspective. Change has to occur, and not everyone seems to be onboard even with the minimum requirements for decent human beingness. The good news for me is that at long last, the fear of Large Belligerents has gone. Not that THEY are gone, but somehow even as they feel empowered I feel their lack of substance. Also the fear of what others will think, or what they think about my work or what I do (usually expressed as “that s&^! doesn’t work”, to which I respond now, then toddle along dearie!). The bigger questions of what to do about it all, what is to be done….seem to be most clearly responded to now by one moment at a time, one day, one task, one deep breath at a time. Turns out you don’t always have to say anything, but you DO have to walk your (previous and to come) talk. Nothing is the way it appeared to be, nor will it be. Change is now, and the more we can all operate from our Heart and what is basically good for all (which, let’s face it, is not exactly fricking rocket science) the better chance we have of success. The big thing, and the hard thing, is changing our habits. Ask me how I know…..
It has seemed overwhelming and undoable for a while and certainly the horizon is uncertain. Despair doesn’t get you very far and the fact is, beauty still exists and we walk in it if we can but realize it. That in itself may be the change we need. Hard as it is to hold that awareness when you look at what’s going on all around you, still it is important. ( How to get people to stop the things that they’re doing without putting a spell on them? is a good question.) Observation may be key there, because the truth and the information ARE out there and available- you just have to be quiet and listen (definitely up hill for some of us) because the truth is always expressed. There is now, from among the hundreds on the hills by us, ONE Manzanita tree blooming, and it is covered with bees. The song of their hum is breathtaking, and as the Dog and I stood there looking (he trying to decide just which branch he’d run by and snatch a flower snack off) I remembered the wonderful perfume in the air every year when these trees bloom and I thought: THERE is the reality. If we remember to BE, things oddly do fall into place and things do work out and what is to be done is at least somewhere visible. This allowed me to go inside and make a needed practical phone call to someone who, at our last meeting, had said to me, the only good Democrat is a dead democrat. This time, the person was polite and we discussed matters of disagreement calmly and arrived at a resolution. There’s always hope, and giving up is not much of an option anyway.
Blessings and thanks as always!!!!! take care, take heart and remember no matter how it looks? we are all in this together. Admittedly I have watched Too Much News of late, now that even a speck is overboard. I am dismayed and, really, sickened by what has paraded in front of all of us for the past….years and weeks. But one cannot concentrate on the hole all the time, right? You miss the whole that way! So even if I am, in my mind, thinking about how to set up a speaker to blast out, variously, pow wow music and San Quentin Imams calling inmates to prayer in response to our neighbor’s loud and hours long terrible bass lines celebration of Saturday’s “verdict”, I don’t do it. Right now that seems like progress even if it also seems like one does the same thing over and over in terms of reminding self that there IS a higher love and way…maybe that’s the one foot in front of the other part….Meanwhile….. Out to the Manzanita.
Boozilla: learning to fly one room at a time 