clarity

It’s good when things are clear, don’t you think Gentle Reader?  Even though it can be monstrously unpleasant.

Like now, for example.  Maybe it’s just the ending of a fast but long, hard year.  Maybe it’s the looming anniversary of a friend’s death.  Or, maybe, it’s about the total uncertainty around all the edges of things now.  Whatever it is, this Ferguson thing just got me down with a sort of finality.

The finality of losing the last illusions, perhaps.  Because I really did have alot of ’em, it seems.  I thought we lived in a country that…that what?  That didn’t routinely kill its citizens.  A country that didn’t have a militarized occupation force posing as police.  A country where a person actually had some civil rights and a degree of freedom.  But, no.  It turns out that those are not the facts.  The facts are that is totally OK to kill people (except of course an undeveloped fetus.  That’s a no-can-do.)  Unarmed people.  Especially if those people are “colored” (and isn’t THAT a concept?  I’d go for purple, myself.) or “different”,  or especially all those scary young men who have nothing to do and nowhere to go- except maybe the Army.  We are sold food that poisons us and causes pain, for which we then take drugs that get us addicted.  We live in a society where the only rights enforced seem to be those of property- and then it most definitely depends on whose property we’re talking about.  We live in a country now where bald faced lies come to seem more refreshing and revealing than one more celebrity kiss-up on the news.  We live in a country that seems to celebrate ignorance and mediocrity. We live in a country where all are not even considered to be equal, and if you don’t believe that you clearly haven’t been outside in a while.

It’s odd that this thing was kind of a last straw.  It is not, after all, my first time at the rodeo nor did I just fall off the turnip truck.   I still cling  to the presumption that we are all created equal in the eyes and truth of whatever did that creating. Standards, perhaps, I still harbor a fondness for.  And a belief in the need for a real rule of law- where the values of the community are nourished and upheld and protected.  Not lied about and twisted and manipulated so that everything that gets said can’t even be taken in because on its face it is corruption.

My whole world is, in many ways, gone.  I can accept the results of my own actions with greater or lesser ease and grace depending on the level of horrid debacle, accept the fact that things are deeply different now and time passes, some good and some bad.  But I cannot accept the fact that we now have a country here in the U.S. where it isn’t freedom that rings but bullets and cash registers up top.  Over and over.  This really has to stop.  It may seem too big to stop- too big to fail? But all of our lives are on the line  and not changing course now seems to be incredible folly.  IMHO.  It really, truly, is not hard to do the right thing in life: You just have to be aware of what it is. We might start with that first commandment and move on to something more philosophically expansive.  Like gardening.  You think?

Thank you.

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