just a dream

Don’t think it hasn’t been fun around here, Gentle Reader.  Really.  Perhaps it was a delightful coincidence? but somehow the demise of the satellite internet at the place the crazy train stopped coincided with an episode of carpal tunnel from hell.  So.  I had no way to get any work done for two weeks, technically speaking, being satellite-less for reasons beyond my control and any understanding.  And I also had pain in my paws that precluded even SIMPLE THINGS, like throwing The Dog his squeaky, footed ball.

In the way of the universe, however, the cavalry did arrive.  Suddenly, out of the blue, my business rose from its moribund condition and orders began to come in.  Interestingly they were mostly for pain in the hands, along with some other things like shingles and car wreck remedies.  Which I was uniquely positioned, at the time, to attend to- the hand pain I mean.    The shingles remedy was a success, and it’s too soon to know about the car wreck, but the hand pain special? Actually worked.

Once again I was reminded that all the time I spend worrying and anxiety-fying myself is pretty much a waste of time.  Things do work out.  (I can actually pay the rent once again, and as usual.  The Dog is coming along and we haven’t had any exploding heads for a few days, although he did try to abscond with my one remaining garden ornament: a metal, reclining frog.  I was able to accept the demise of the turtle, butterfly, and bumblebees, along with a small mulberry tree, a wild ginger, and god knows what else.  But the frog? Not so much.  I managed to retrieve it as The Dog was dragging it into his downstairs dominion and although he got cross for a moment, he saw reason when it was presented to him in the form of liver treats.) The thing of it seems to be keeping oneself aligned with the bigger picture, the bigger consciousness, and letting the energy of events take care of itself for the most part.  My “guidance” yesterday was a line from Rumi: “break the legs of everything I want”, in the sense of let me get rid of my ego drives and get, essentially, on the cosmic train.  That cosmic train is what carries us all, and has all the information we need for wherever we are.  I used to think this sort of thinking was ridiculous in a way, being as tied to the “small s” self as anyone.  But now, and especially after the Healing of the Thumbs, I see again that in fact, the answers really are out there, and more importantly, so are the questions.  So you really don’t have to worry about that. The joy of the search and of finding the right question is the food of the soul, and the fuel of a decent life.

Anyway that’s what I think today.  There’s still propane to be gotten, which can be dicey- last time we were there we narrowly missed a huge explosion because some idiot had a too large container in the back of his truck and it all got disappeared to the overall tune of $60k damage, but that’s what makes rural life so interesting, right?  You never know when things are going to go boom.  Somehow, though, it all seems clearer at the moment now that I know for a fact that control is an illusion, and I figure we’ll get through our propane purchase safely.  Who knows what we’ll contend with next?

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